Friday, September 03, 2010

Of Succubi and Incubi

A question I saw on Twitter (that I'm too technologically feeble to work out how to answer there):

@manyeyedhydra What would, in ME Hydra's world, happen if a Succubus tried to feed off an Incubus? Surely the Inc would be able to last.

Some fairly epic fucking is my guess. Bring a camcorder, make a fortune from the porn industry... (hello, plot idea!)

Hmm, so what would happen? I'm not really sure.

If the demons were soul eaters would they even be interested in each other? I can imagine a world setting where incubi and succubi had no interest in each other because they couldn't feed off each other. (you can put the camcorder down, two demons doing nothing is not going to ignite the porn universe)

My succubi tend to be semen vamps. They make you ejaculate over and over until you run out of bodily fluids and die. How to fit an incubus in a universe that works like that? He's at a disadvantage. They fuck, he comes, she swallows, he comes, she swallows, he comes, she swallows, repeat until...he dies. Alas poor Inc, you do not work in this faux-biologically realistic setting.

Unless we get creative.

Get a woman excited and she'll get wet. Give our Inc a cock that also doubles up as a sponge or mouth for absorbing this... ahem... wetness and now we have a feeding mechanism that makes an attempt at suspension of disbelief. They fuck, she gets excited, he absorbs, she gets excited, he absorbs, she gets excited, he absorbs, she finally runs out of fluids and expires.

Now our Inc can fight!

And the winner is... whichever demon is individually more powerful in the hierarchy in use for the current setting I reckon. They fuck, the more powerful demon makes the other come themselves to oblivion (camcorder overheats and blows up at this point).

There's a hot story there.

Incubi aren't absent from the settings I write about, I just don't get round to writing stories about them because:

a) I'd rather write stories about sexy femme fatales.
b) There are already approximately a zillion animes featuring girls being raped by demons.
c) I'm really really bad at writing from the female POV.

Yeah, it's mainly c). Maybe someday, when I'm more confident in my (limited) abilities as a writer. There are some hell-space tales that need to be told...

Monday, August 30, 2010

In the realm of the succubus queen

I've been meaning to post something on this before, but didn't get around to it (Like most of the story ideas I really need to get written up before they rot in my brain and foul effluvium dribbles out of my ears...)

If you haven't already found it, this wiki over at succubus.net is a fantastic resource for everything succubus related. Want to know where you can find succubi in films, books, TV series, games, etc, then you need look no further as the wiki contains a fairly comprehensive list. I also check out Tera's blog from time to time for useful little tidbits, reviews, pics and the continued mission impossible to find a classy succubus outfit.

A great resource, but I am slightly biased as she wrote some very nice things about my writing... :)

Tuesday, August 24, 2010

Is a hard-bitten horror writer allowed to go Squeee!

The author copies of "A Succubus for Valentine's Day" came through today. There are few things better for a writer than to see their words in print so I love seeing the finished books. It'll be a while before this one's actually ready as the scheduled publication date from eXcessica is February next year (around Valentine's Day and a perfect antidote to Valentine's Day if you like your erotic tales with a bit more teeth).

Thankfully the CreateSpace glitch didn't activate this time and make the book available prematurely as with "A Succubus for Christmas" (apologies to anyone that fell foul of this), although it's a shame the books get tagged as "Limited Availability - Out of Print" on Amazon. Sort of makes them sound forgotten and past it, when in reality they're lying in wait to burst out on the world when the official publication date rolls around.

I'm still battling with the third collection - "A Succubus for Halloween". Real life keeps weighing in with the usual distractions. There's some absolute crackers lined up for this one - some seriously freaky ideas dredged from the black depths of my mind. The last couple are proving a little tricksy - setting one in the Byzantine era was probably a little too ambitious - but hopefully I'll have them finished and ready soon.

I haven't forgotten about Phil. As soon as I get the other stories out of the way I'll get back to the Succubus Summoning 201 arc.

So many ideas and I write with the speed of a clapped out tortoise... :(

Wednesday, August 18, 2010

oglaf.com

Now there's a trap I wouldn't mind triggering!

The rest of the webcomic is a fantasy themed sex-comedy (NSFW!) centered around a hapless apprentice to a sorceress queen.

I wish I was good/fast enough to do artwork. I think the Succubus Summoning 101 series I write would look good as a hentai doujin/web comic. Sadly, all the artistic ability in me belongs to Horror Head and whatever those pictures are, they certainly ain't erotic!

Sunday, August 08, 2010

Bad Nanny Apple

This sucks. They censored the erotica from their bestsellers list. It’s Apple’s toy and they can do what they like with it, but I think this kind of control freakery will only end up biting them in the ass. Amazon didn’t exactly cover themselves in glory when all the gay books ‘vanished’ or when the big grab fairy came and took back George Orwell’s ‘1984’ from people’s ebook readers, but at least they had the decency to mumble something about a ‘glitch’ in the first place and a rights fuck up in the other.

Apple, nope. They swept them away and tried to tell us reality was something else, which is never going to work as somebody is going to spot it, and then everybody else will know about it and pretty soon everyone will be looking at their bestsellers list and singing: “We know you’re lying...”

It’s silly. They could have handled it sensibly in any number of ways. Don’t sell the smut in the first place (although that’s bound to result in endless hilarity when someone gets over-zealous and blacklists “Lady Chatterley’s Lover” or “Lolita”). Filter your bestsellers list by price to remove the cheap little novellas. Filter your bestsellers list by genre (Both fine as long as the filtering is stated).

Or suck it up and show a sense of humour in the “Gosh, who’d have thought adults would buy ‘adult’ titles” vein.

Instead they tried to pretend the world is basically flat.

I don’t hate Apple. They make a lot of cool stuff and I love my iPod to bits. But they also have a habit of building nice walled gardens and putting machinegun nests on the walls. And then wondering why the masses deserted them in droves for a competitor’s knock off that doesn’t come with a built-in nanny.

Nice to see erotica ebooks doing well against the big boys anyway.

Here’s hoping to hit the #1 spot in the invisible ‘real’ bestsellers list sometime soon ;).

Friday, August 06, 2010

A Bizarro challenger emerges

This caught my attention in the Guardian a week or so ago. They describe it as the literary equivalent to cult movies, which piqued my attention as it brings back fond memories of staying up late to watch whatever weirdness was showing on Channel 4 or Alex Cox’s Moviedrome. Titles like ‘Shatnerquake’ and ‘Ass Goblins of Auschwitz’ are clearly not meant to be taken seriously, but are they not as bad as they sound, so bad they’re good or so bad they’re just terrible?

They have a nice website and I liked the two articles by Carlton Mellick III. Good storytelling is universal, no matter how weird the concept might be.

I noticed they also feature a few of Edward Lee’s books. I remember his “Mr. Torso” being far beyond anything else in Hot Blood IV for sheer deranged inventiveness.

Ah, is this where all the horror writers ran off to when their genre was overrun by sparkly vampires?

And yeah, the mercenary bastard in me was wondering if this was a market I could try and hawk my wares in. One of the book ideas I’m chipping away with at the moment does have the working title: “Porno Fighters from Planet Earth” :).

Also I see it as another challenge. Even though it’s fairly juvenile, I often write with the aim of trying to take on and beat the worst excesses of Japanese manga/anime for weird and freaky sex. It’s an impossible mission. Every time I think I’m getting close I run across another Apocalypse Zero and realise I’ve got a long way to go.

I hadn’t really thought about films/books from the west. I thought they were lacking that essence of WTF imagination. Only goes to show I wasn’t really looking hard enough... :)

Dum de dum de dum de dum...

Nothing to see here...

Honest.