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Right, sub-quests today. Lots and lots of sub-quests. I’ll be picking up the queens in reverse order to fighting them, mainly because that’s how I did it.
Vampire Queen – Fatima
Go back to the throne room in the vampire castle.
Vampire Queen will agree to be Luka’s “concubine”, on the condition he helps her achieve her aims of world domination. Sonya is not impressed by this. Then it turns out Vampire Queen’s sinister plan to achieve world domination is to... open a chain of vampire pubs?
Alice (or Sonya) points out it’s basically a rip-off of what the mermaids are doing, but the vampire queen is undaunted.
The vampire queen wonders if anyone in the vampire family is good at business.
Well... there is that former bandit queen who runs the shop in the pocket castle and has negotiated trade deals with pretty much every settlement in the world and even some on other planes.
This is Vanilla’s time to shine. She talks with the vampire queen about opening a pub in Sabasa. Vanilla already has a list of possible locations, with the old assassin’s HQ at the top of the list.
At this point you need to go to Sabasa. The house you want is the one where Salaan (the assassin battlefucker) can be found hanging out.
|The soon-to-be first Vampire Pub|
Talk to her and she’ll sell the house to Vanilla. Then it’s back to the Vampire Castle to talk with the queen (You’re going to want a time mage able to cast Warp in the party, as this and the next few quests require a lot of bouncing around the map).
After talking to the vampire queen she’ll relocate to Sabasa, where she can be found inside the old assassin building along with various vamps engaged in interior redecoration. She will then set two quests.
The first is to find a nice carpet. Remember that mysterious sheep island right near the start of [part 2], well finally we have a reason to visit it. It’s just west of the Navy HQ if you’ve forgotten where it is. Go and talk to the sheep girl blocking the door to the building and she’ll provide the carpet the vampire queen is looking for.
|So this island of drunken sheep was actually here for a reason|
Quest two is the one where I initially heard rumours of it being broken if characters were recruited in the wrong order. Those characters are Lazarus and Merlin. They can be recruited in the pub in Gold Port pretty much the first time you visit there. I’ve left them there after seeing a forum post about this quest line being broken. Whatever that problem was, it doesn’t appear to be present now.
Queen Vampire wants beer. Going through the brewer’s guild is expensive, but fortunately there is a shadowy underworld figure capable of bypassing all that. You’ll need to go to Lazarus. If, like me, you haven’t yet recruited him, you can talk to him in Gold Port and he and Merlin will join the party. After being recruited he can then be found in the casino of the pocket castle (and will be here if you recruited him ages ago). Talk to him to satisfy the second part of the vampire queen’s quest.
Then it’s time for a night’s sleep at the inn and then return the next evening to see how the vampire inn is faring.
Very good as it happens. It’s full of happy patrons. They’re drinking the beer. The vampire girls are drinking the patrons (non-lethally). In fact, the men seem a little too happy. They're all paired up with very willing and rather attractive vampire girl hosts. There’s even one squirming away in bliss in one of elder vampire’s tentacles.
Wait a minute. I don’t think this pub is a pub...
And the world was doomed as a chain of high-quality vampire brothels spread across it.
To be fair, I suspect the mermaid “pubs” are running the exact same business model.
Anyway, Queen Vampire is happy, and that’s her quest line done. She reveals her real name is Fatima and joins the party. Vanilla reveals she doesn’t have a real name as no-one gave her one. So Fatima, as head of the vampire clan, bestows one on her.
You dun gud, little Vanilla.
And we get a lovely new concubine for our harem, where we can look forward to nights of pleasure just like...
|A date with a vampire. BYOB.|
Spider Princess – um, Spider Princess
Getting Spider Princess in the party involves throwing all common sense out of the window and having Luka behave like a complete idiot.
Go to her throne room. Thankfully, an arachne lord is on hand to teleport us straight to her rather than battling through the maze-like Isle of Solitude. Spider Princess will tell you she wants to ascend to the throne of Queen Insect again, but needs the votes of Queen Bee, Queen Ant and Queen Roach to do so.
That’s an interesting teaser. I wonder if we’ll get to see a Queen Roach in part 3.
Hmm. Are we sure we want to see a Queen Roach?
Queen Roach isn’t around, so it will have to be the votes of Queen Bee and Ant. Agree to help Spider Princess out and you’ll be teleported to Queen Bee at the top of the insect mountain.
|I don't think Queen Bee is going to agree to this...|
She is not too happy about letting Spider be queen again and is totally not convinced by Spider’s claims that she’s turned over a new leaf now that she’s found her “love”, Luka. Queen Ant shows up and is also for vetoing Spider Princess’s claims.
This is where I initially thought I’d fucked up as it ends up in a battle where you have to pick a side. I thought it was going to be another of those either/or scenarios, but it doesn’t play out that way. Side with Spider Princess and you’ll have to fight Queen Bee and Queen Ant. Win and Spider Princess wrangles her way to Insect Queen and joins the party. Fortunately, you don’t lose Queen Ant and Queen Bee in the process. They can still be found in the pocket castle afterwards as if nothing has happened.
This means that the correct course of action is to side with Spider Princess, even if all common sense suggests Luka should not do this and definitely be nowhere near Spider Princess’s bedchamber when she starts to feel a little frisky.
Because, well, we know why...
|How many times have we told you...|
-> Next: Recruiting the Queens II
Don't worry, I haven't forgotten about my other writing. Currently I'm queuing up the MQ:P playthrough posts for the next few weeks. Once that's done, I'll get back to writing. Not sure what that'll be. The rest of "The Heart Squad" hopefully, but if I find that's gone a little stale, I'll try changing things up. 2,000 words a day on a random story I'm not supposed to be writing is better than 0 words a day on a story that has gone cold and stubbornly refusing to be written.