Saturday, June 09, 2012

Jackson in HRPG-World: 1-4 Puff-Puff Setback

Time for the conclusion.

Jackson in HRPG-World: 1-4 Puff-Puff Setback

Moréhâgg placed a long finger at the corner of her full lips and gave him a coquettish smile.

“The next one will take me to zero health,” Jackson said.

He didn’t know what would happen then. He wasn’t sure he wanted to find out.

Moréhâgg shifted position in his lap. Her labia tightened around the root of his cock, preparing for the final suck that would take Jackson right to the Game Over screen.


Moréhâgg paused. She smiled down at Jackson.

“The fight has gone long enough. My Coup de Grâce move is ready.”

Coup de Grâce? Monsters had those as well?

“It’s my super special move. You’ll really like it.”

Moréhâgg started to move against him. Her hips rocked against him with light bounces that gradually increased in force and frequency. Her heavy breasts swayed as she bobbed up and down. She was really fucking him now. He felt the cloying suction of her pussy every time she lifted her hips. The cushioned cuff of her labia bulged out every time her body slapped down against him.

Jackson felt a trembling tension jangle through his legs and buttocks. A pleasant wriggling sensation squirmed in his balls. This was fucking crazy. He was about to come buckets inside a boss of a stupid JRPG.

And it was going to—


—Game Over him.

He couldn’t do anything. He was helpless and about to receive her ultimate attack, whatever that was.

“Can’t we talk it over?” Jackson said. “I have gold…” he added hopefully.

Moréhâgg kept her upper body still as her hips smoothly bounced up and down on Jackson. She stared straight ahead and moved her arms and hands in front of her breasts in sinuous motions that looked like some kind of weird yoga move.

“Ultimate Succu-Fuck Drain,” she said.

Her hands moved in a circle. A glowing pentagram spun out from each palm. They expanded and tipped over into horizontal circles wide enough to contain both Moréhâgg’s and Jackson’s bodies. One, its outline ghostly, sank down through Jackson until it was lying flat on the floor. The other rose above Moréhâgg until it became a floating counterpart to the circle on the floor.

This looked bad. Real bad.

“Um…Um…” Jackson started. He gave the edges of the circle he was lying within a nervous glance.

Moréhâgg gave an orgiastic moan. The circles flared with purple-black light, forming a shining column that enclosed both of them. The stone floor suddenly vanished and Jackson was falling into some kind of purple-black matter that gave beneath him like spongy-soft cushions. The impact jammed his cock deeper up inside Moréhâgg. The squishy walls of her pussy clenched even more tightly around him. He felt his glans pushing up against some kind of soft fleshy sphincter. It gave with a pop and so did Jackson. He shuddered as a warm gush of pleasure flooded out of his trembling body.

Now he really was coming buckets.

Red numbers appeared above his head and whirled like slots on speed. One hundred…one thousand…

Moréhâgg’s eyes were closed. She looked serene as she straddled him. Her chest quivered and throbbed in time to the pulsing suction tugging on Jackson’s cock. He felt it, a soft orifice that wrapped around the swollen head of his erection and sucked spurt after spurt out of his quivering member.

…ten thousand…

Moréhâgg sighed in ecstasy and squeezed her breasts. Jackson writhed beneath her, his body no longer under his control as she emptied his balls with great lusty swallows.

…one million…

Emptied him.

Jackson passed out when the numbers hit forty-four million.

* * * *

“Bless you, child. The Almighty watches over you.”

Jackson woke up in a church with a priest standing over him.

So that’s what happened when his health hit zero. He went back to the last save point. Phew. That wasn’t so bad. Maybe it was worth ‘losing’ that fight a few more times before proceeding, he thought with a grin.

Huh, what was he doing back in his shitty starting clothes? And—

His gold! They’d taken all his money and equipment!

“Motherfucking cunt-faced bitch!”

The priest placidly ignored his outburst.

That wasn’t all. Something didn’t feel right.

“Hey dickwad, how much XP until the next level?” he asked the priest.

“You require fifteen experience points to reach level two.”

“Level two! I was level thirteen!”

“It appears you were hit by a very powerful level-draining attack,” the priest said.

Jackson wasn’t listening. He sat with his head in hands. Thirteen levels gone, sucked out of him. All the grinding he’d done over the last week, wasted.

Level one.


Oh well, nothing for it. It was back to the starting area forest. He had a lot of those annoying blue bouncing slime-things to kill.

I failed to kill my protagonist. How negligent of me. Oh well, I guess we'll hear more of Jackson's trials and tribulations at some point in the future.

For those that haven't guessed it already, the JRPG I'm referencing (hopefully obliquely enough to not have my ass sued to oblivion) is the Dragon Quest series, in this case IX. The series has a running innuendo joke about Puff-Puff. It's harmless innuendo exploited mercilessly by the corrupted cesspool I have for an imagination. The actual game is fun and perfectly safe for children.

Jackson will return in "Exploding Kiwis in the Nether Regions".


  1. I almost don't want to know..."Exploding Kiwis in the Nether Regions?"And here I was hoping he gets taken out in level one by a perverted slime monster girl :D

    1. I have that planned for a later spooth of Monster Girl Quest

    2. Oof. Spooth? Oh dear. Long day at work. Spoof ;)

    3. Could have been worse, could have been "spaff"! ;)

  2. In retrospect, with the title being "Puff-Puff *Setback*", I suppose it should've been obvious you weren't going to kill him.