Friday, September 04, 2015

A Succubus Team for Fantasy Football

By Fantasy Football I'm referring to the trope of fantasy races playing some form of hyper-violent sportsball (usually a derivative of American Football) rather than Fantasy Football in the mainstream sense.  For tabletop miniatures games, this usually equates to Games Workshop's Blood Bowl, although there are other games.

Blood Bowl was a tabletop game I enjoyed a lot when I was younger and since returning to the UK I've been using it as the basis of some beer and gaming nights at my brother's.  Blood Bowl as a game is in a weird state as it's still popular, has its own playing community, but has been effectively disowned by the games company that created it and is no longer supported.  If you want to pick up the minis nowadays you have to get them second-hand off Ebay.

The official ones anyway.

Other miniatures manufacturers create fantasy football minis.  They're not official Blood Bowl minis and they don't have the (presumably trade-marked) Warhammer names, but if you're looking for a Skaven team, you'll be able to find someone making a ratmen team that just so happens to have all the official Blood Bowl roster positionals covered.  Indeed, for some teams (i.e. Slann) this is the only way to get a team.  The rules for them exist, but GW never produced a line of miniatures to represent them.

While looking for alternate team minis I came upon this site offering a Succubus team that I thought looked a little interesting.!sukubusteam/c15hb

Here are a couple of the minis as an example.

I'm guessing most of these ranges are put together as fantasy-football-themed minis for people to collect and paint.  The savvier studios will also make the range correspond to one of the official Blood Bowl rosters so players can also use them as game pieces for the tabletop game.  The Amazon team roster, being the only all-female team, tends to attract a lot of alternates.  In GW's official Warhammer/Blood Bowl fluff Amazons have an Aztec flavour.  Unofficial interpretations tend to head off into more risque territory and I've seen Naughty Nuns, Bunny Girls and even a full bondage team.  (I'm guessing turning up to tournaments with that as your team is frowned upon :D )

In this case I think the studio just put a range of succubus fantasy football figures together as it doesn't correspond to any Blood Bowl roster I know of.  Interestingly, their other range of Valkyrie fantasy footballers doesn't have this problem as it corresponds very closely to the Blood Bowl Norse team.

Hmm.  Maybe it might be fun to put some rules together for this team.  Thoughts?  Any keen Blood Bowl players out there?

Thursday, September 03, 2015

Stepping aside from SJW nonsense... for now

I was going to put up a long post about blacklists and cliques, but it was coming out more like a puling whinefest than the motivational piece I intended, so into the recycling bin it went.

It was intended for just-starting-out writers in the light of some of the demoralised comments I'd seen in the aftermath of the ugly Hugo Awards debacle.  The basic gist was this:

Yes, cliques exist.  Yes they're annoying and frustrating, but as you get older you will learn to find ways around them.  Reroute around damage.  Create the works you want to create.

I was also going to do a long piece on SJWs, but I suspect my readers' patience is wearing thin on that particular subject.  I know mine is.  If it wasn't for the fact I'm acutely sensitive to censorship (and this includes the various forms of quasi-censorship people swear blind aren't actual censorship even though they result in the same outcome) I'd stay out of this clusterfuck altogether.

Thankfully, my fears of an SJW-ideological chokehold on the creative process are receding.  Say what you will about Vox Day, his strategy of adopting the same tactics manual and hitting back twice as hard has been brutally effective.  While the more thuggish members of the SJW crowd are kept busy breaking their fists on the rock face of Vox, #GamerGate, and other groups stubbornly resistant to their shaming tactics, they don't have the time to bother the rest of us.  Having the left and right ends of the horseshoe negate each other in ideological combat across social media is win-win as far as I'm concerned.

So I think I'll quietly step away from all that nonsense and get back to the succubus smut.  I have a review of Camel's latest Card Quest game I'm hoping to get out by the weekend, "Sandwiched by Scyllas" for the week after, and that Succubus Summoning 201 ebook isn't going to write itself.

The same message applies:

Reroute around damage.  Create the works you want to create.

Tuesday, August 25, 2015

The End of All Hugos to Come: Of Clubhouses and the Young Devouring the Old

Well, this year's Hugo Awards certainly didn't disappoint in terms of drama...

Here's the background for those unaware.  Concerned about a political bias in the awards and dissatisfied with the quality of recent nominees, a group of right-wing authors started a campaign, #SadPuppies, to get work they and their fans liked on the ballot (there was also a related, more radical campaign – #RabidPuppies).  Their campaign was a little too successful and their nominees flooded the ballots, locking up all five slots in some categories.  This riled up the rest of Fandom, resulting in a lot of ugliness and bad feeling, and culminated in an award ceremony on Saturday that saw five categories No Awarded as a protest against the slate-voting tactics of the Puppies/because none of the nominees were of sufficient quality/because of the politics of the nominees (*insert own truth).

This is just the barebones.  There's plenty more elsewhere on the internet if you want to read up more.  As with all political controversies, most of what's written is heavily slanted to one side or the other, so I'd recommend reading from sources on both sides of the fracture to get the full picture.  I'd also recommend avoiding reading anything from mainstream media sources such as The Guardian.  Over the past couple of years mainstream media has either been utterly inept or wilfully duplicitous in their reporting on flare-ups in online nerd/geek spaces and this is sadly more of the same.  The argument that this is a conspiracy by old racist, misogynist white dudes to keep minorities and women out of Sci-Fi doesn't really hold up under closer inspection (the number of women on their ballots and the fact that one of the "racist" Sad Puppies organisers, Brad Torgersen, has been happily married to a black woman for over two decades are fairly big giveaways).

For me personally I don't have a dog in this fight.  I write succubus porn for a tiny niche audience and have the networking skills of an octoplegic arachnid.  The probability of my work being noticed and put forward for an award like the Hugo is somewhere about the same as the Earth spontaneously imploding.

It doesn't affect me much as a reader either.  My reading preferences lean more towards horror than either science fiction or fantasy, and awards have been functionally useless in suggesting books I'd want to read for some time now.

While the stated aims of the Sad Puppies are laudable, replacing one clique with another—and unfortunately that's how it looks to an outside eye once you unpick the spiderwebs of who's connected to who—doesn't feel like significant improvement to either writer-me or reader-me.  All this latest dust-up has achieved is to reinforce my impression that the whole of SFF (capital-F) Fandom is nuts, probably hazardous-to-career/productivity and best viewed from afar with a strong telescope.

What I find interesting is how the whole Hugo Awards controversy is playing out as an extension of the wider Libertarian vs. Authoritarian culture war currently waging in online nerd communities.  #GamerGate has been raging for a year now, an unprecedented amount of time in the age of social media.  #GamerGate should have been a trivial bit of kerfuffle about a minor figure in the indie dev scene that blew over in a week, but then virtually all of the online gaming press decided to declare war on their own audience and, twelve months later, a good chunk of that audience is still raging.  At this point I don't think #GamerGate is ever going away.  It's gone beyond a protest movement/hate group (*insert own truth) and coalesced into a community... a very angry community furious about how they've been demonised by the media.

How does this relate to the Hugos?  One of the accusations levelled at the Puppies is that they dragged those evil GamerGaters into the nomination process.  As with most of the racist/misogynist/homophobic claims, it doesn't hold up under closer inspection.  One of the regular tweeters for #GamerGate, @Daddy_Warpig, is a fan of some of the Puppy writers and #RabidPuppies ringleader Vox Day identifies as a #GamerGate supporter, but that's about it.  Or at least, was about it.  Plenty of #GamerGaters kept a close eye on the awards and they did not like what they saw.

Still, who gives a fuck about #GamerGate?  They're just the same old bunch of whiny white dudes crying because someone let some women and minorities into their clubhouse to play with their toys... right?  And there's only like a handful of them anyway... right?

That seems to be the usual narrative about #GamerGate and every other online controversy where geeks and nerds get angry on the internet.  They're old white male dinosaurs—reactionary relics lashing out a world moving away from them.  That world is moving to a bright, shiny future filled with inclusivity and diversity, and nerd culture—be it games, comics, films, books—would be there already if these inconvenient old straight white male neckbeards would just shift their inconvenient fat carcasses out of the way and jump in the nearest canal.  That seems to be the message from a cultural media elite with their blogs and opinion columns—"We are the future, you are the past.  Your extinction is at hand, now kindly accept it and fuck off."

One thing that struck me about the aftermath of the Hugo Awards on social media was that the people most mad about the No Awarding didn't strike me as these old dinosaurs raging at their usurpation.  They sounded young.

Young.  Disenfranchised.  Angry.

And this is #GamerGate in a nutshell.  It's not about excluding women, it's not even about ethics in games journalism.  It's anger.  And most of this anger is directed at an elite media class that doesn't understand them and has repeatedly lied about and demonised them.  If they're white and male, they're angry at being lectured to about privilege by writers with far greater reach and social capital.  If they're female or a minority, they're angry at being dismissed as sock puppets, or of having "internalized misogyny".  They're angry at being called misogynists, racists and homophobes for questioning logic in media narratives that don't add up to them.  They're angry at being smeared as terrorists and rapists for having the temerity of speaking back.

One of the things I found most telling was a twitter exchange between one of these angry young nerds and a multi-award-winning author.  The author described it as Fandom successfully keeping out interlopers trying to gate-crash the clubhouse.  And then it clicked for me.  The roles are all wrong.  The angry young nerd isn't angry because they think they're being kicked out of the clubhouse to let in a more diverse female/PoC/LGBT crowd.  They've never even been inside the clubhouse.

I don't think the people that write the blogs and newspaper articles understand this.  They've made careers and names out of "punching up" and "speaking truth to power".  I don't think they recognise that to the young people coming up, they've become the establishment putting bars on the doors and windows of the clubhouse.

Now we come back to #SadPuppies and the Hugo Awards.  My personal opinion is that while I'm sympathetic to the #SadPuppies cause, ending up with a situation where the rest of the voters were left with a choice of voting for one of the Puppy picks or none at all was a mistake (and not entirely the #SadPuppies fault—it was the additions of Vox Day's overlapping #RabidPuppies slate that ended up locking out some of the categories).  People being the contrary buggers they are, voters going "fuck you" and plumping for none at all was always a likely outcome in that scenario.

The thing is, all those angry young nerds currently raging on the internet aren't going to see that.  These people have zero trust in the media after fighting a bruising campaign against it over the past year.  They've even been blamed for contributing to this controversy and casually smeared, again.

Then they see the Hugo Awards play out.  They see a bunch of people cheering the announcement of No Award and then gloating afterwards about denying people based on their politics rather than the quality of their writing.  They hear about a distinguished female editor with a long history in the field walking out because she'd had enough of the mockery.  They read the account of another female writer having what should be a dream occasion turned to utter shit.  They hear about the multi-millionaire author throwing an after-show party for his buddies in a big mansion and giving out awards to the people the in-group thought "should" have won.  Is it any wonder they came to the conclusion the whole thing is as rotten as hell?   The raging you're seeing on social media is their "speaking truth to power".

This has been reported as a victory for progressive attitudes over a reactionary backlash of old white dudes stuck in the past, further evidence that the old guard are being elbowed aside and the future of SFF is a bright one with social justice at its heart.  I think there's a problem here.  It relies on the assumption that the current backlash is coming from old dinosaurs clinging grimly on to power.  They're thinning out.  Less and less people are sharing their attitudes.  Soon they'll be gone and the cultural shift will be complete.

Except there's a good chance that all the folks raging in twitter and reddit posts are younger than the more connected folk writing all the nice blogposts about SFF's bright and rainbow-coloured future.  Which would mean what we're seeing now is not a reactionary backlash from a generation on the way out, but a backlash against perceived authoritarianism from a generation on the way in.  They're really angry at the current media class.  Their numbers are growing and they're getting angrier.  They will also bring a cultural shift, but it might not be the one you're expecting and it might not be pleasant.

That's the thing about being the future, you always end up being someone else's past.

The young replace the old.

Currently the young are very angry.  Then someone like Vox Day comes along.  Vox is an asshole.  He doesn't pretend to be anything else.  Most of these angry young nerds are not assholes.  They don't even like Vox.  A cursory glance at #GamerGate HQ, the KotakuInAction subreddit, shows this.  Every time his name comes up it's usually followed by, "Ugh, that guy," or words to the same effect.  But the thing is, if you're caught between two sides and one side is throwing rocks at your head, it's human nature to gravitate to the side not currently throwing rocks at your head.

I find it ironic that in the same year Mixon received a Hugo for her exposé of Requires Hate, Fandom seems wilfully unaware that people are still using the same hacks to spread toxicity from behind a shield of supposed social justice.  This is great for Vox Day.  Whenever one of Team "Social Justice" posts another of their venomous screeds about young white men being the most useless and deficient individuals in society, the Dark Lord of Evil rubs his hands and welcomes more Vile Faceless Minions to the fold.

It's why Vox's "SJWs Always Lie" sticks.  They keep proving him right ALL THE GODDAMN TIME.  This resonates with the young angry nerds—they've seen mainstream media lie about them constantly for the past year.  They look at #SadPuppies and recognise the same smears and hit pieces.

It's no surprise right-wing outlets such as are taking an interest in these young angry nerds.  For the first time in half a century the Right sees an opportunity to not be the stop-having-fun side of politics amongst the young.  Because this is the young—the next generation coming through.  They're going to be the people writing about SFF and Fandom in the future.  Do you really want to leave them to be shaped by people like Vox Day?

Thursday, August 13, 2015

Sandwiched by Succubi... Out now!

It's out:

Smashwords will also distribute it to other ebook retailers.

As with "Sandwiched by Slimes", it's a long short at just shy of 10K words.  There's plenty of hot, sexy 2-succubus-on-1-guy action, so you should get your bang (oo er, missus) for your (single) buck.

Reviews would be great, but I also appreciate people's desire for anonymity when perusing this sort of subject manner.  Feel free to drop any musings/questions in the comment section below.

As always, I hope you have as much fun reading it as I had writing it.

This year has not been the most organised in terms of my writing.  With a bit of luck I'm past the worse of it and we'll see "Sandwiched by Scyllas" this time next month.  (And maybe even some long-awaited chapters for Succubus Summoning 201).

Tuesday, August 11, 2015

More teasers for Sandwiched by Succubi

Here's a little more on the next instalment of Sandwiched by, "Sandwiched by Succubi".

The blurb:

Sandwiched by is a sexy series of monster girl erotic horror shorts from the master of dark erotica, M.E. Hydra.  The third in the series, “Sandwiched by Succubi”, sees a man given a night of mind-blowing sex by a pair of succubi.

Julian Cress-Vejce is a man used to getting what he wants.  What he wants is a pair of succubi for a night of hot sex.  At an exclusive brothel specialising in otherworldly beauties the madam cautions against this.  Sex with a succubus is an intense experience and one is more than enough for most men.  But Julian Cress-Vejce isn’t most men, and what he wants he gets...

Sandwiched by.  One dude, two sexy babes.  A perfect fantasy... or maybe not...

The cover:

And a little excerpt:

The succubi closed the door behind him.  Eyes smouldering with desire and lips puffed up in seductive pouts, they surrounded him and helped him remove his expensive Armani suit.  They needed no help to remove their own clothing, what little of it there was.  The only things they had on were matching sets of skimpy black leather bra and panties.  A few deft movements and they weren’t even wearing those.

Julian admired the naked, buxom bodies of the succubi.  They admired his naked, muscular form.  He itched to give their naked, buxom bodies a closer examination.  Unfortunately, as much as he wished he was here solely to satisfy his carnal desires, this was not the case.

“Is that the Mark of Glykon?”

The skin of both succubi was marked.  Was it a tattoo or brand?  Either way they both bore a strange circular design on their body that looked like a pentagram made out of crucifixes.  On the succubus with a ponytail the mark was positioned on her belly, just below her navel.  On the other it was located on her left breast, right above her heart.  Assuming she had a heart.

They nodded.

Strange glyphs were positioned at each corner of the pentagrams and equally strange writing ran along each line.  They looked like the kind of tattoo you might find on your typical deadbeat, Satan-worshipping metal head.  Ironically, those marks were the one thing preventing the ‘demons’ from attacking him.

“So, without that you’d both be trying to rip out my heart and entrails right about now,” Julian said.

“Oh no,” the succubus with untied hair said.  “We’d never do anything so crass.”

“It would be a waste,” the succubus with the ponytail said.

The succubi closed in enough for the soft flesh of their sizable boobs to press and rub against him.  Their hands roamed over his exposed flesh, leaving a pleasant static charge wherever they caressed him.  Julian was very hard in a matter of moments.

“We deal only in pleasure,” the first succubus said.

“We’d get you so horny,” the second added.

“Wrap your hard cock in our sinfully soft cunts.”

“And gently suck.”

“And suck.”

“And you’d spend and spend in our luscious cunts.”

“Spend and spend and spend.”

“Until you were all empty.”

“Dried up and empty.”  One whispered in his ear.  Her lips were close enough to brush against him.

Julian was a little freaked out by how much that turned him on.  While screwing hot, gorgeous women was one of life’s finest pleasures, it wasn’t fine enough for him to think his own life was a price worth paying to experience the ultimate of sensual pleasures.  Or rather, shouldn’t be.  This little exchange had given him a glimpse into how dangerously enticing succubi could be.

The two succubi chuckled at his disquiet.  The sound was dark and rich like a delectable dessert you knew was bad for you and yet couldn’t resist taking a second helping.

“Do you fear us?” the succubus with a ponytail asked.

I'm putting the final touches on the ebook.  Look out for it on Amazon, smashwords and other places in the next couple of days.

UPDATE: I've just uploaded the files.  "Sandwiched by Succubi" will be out on the 13th August!

Saturday, August 08, 2015

Coming Soon... Sandwiched by Succubi

It's been a little quiet here of late, but here's some good news.

Coming soon:

("Sandwiched by Scyllas" is now the next one after this)

Monday, July 20, 2015

SJWs Must Die!

Now that's a title that's going to get me into trouble if I ever have the misfortune of it going viral... :)

While there'll be some twonk somewhere that'll try and grab this as evidence of me giving out 'death threats' or some other stupidity, I'm actually writing about Eli Roth's forthcoming horror film The Green Inferno.  There's a news piece floating around about how Eli Roth's 'Green Inferno' devours the Internet's 'social justice warriors' and that caught my eye because of thoughts I've had on expanding the usual list of acceptable-horror-movie-victim tropes.

There have always been character archetypes in horror (especially slasher flicks) that exist for the audience to hate and cheer on their inevitable gruesome demise.  In any teen setting (which is most slasher flicks) you're likely going to get: the thuggish, bullying jock (plus cronies); the beautiful-but-vicious prom queen; the arrogant, amoral rich kid.  Over the next few years I think we'll see a new archetype added to that list: the sanctimonious SJW.

Now I imagine at this point some readers are going, "B-b-but what's wrong with social justice warriors?  They're good people.  They fight the good fight for the minorities and those without privilege."

Hmm, yeah.  It's complicated.  Social Justice Warrior (SJW) started out as a derogatory term, probably as an offshoot of Keyboard Warrior.  Then the meanings got murkier as far-right wingnuts started using it as a label for people they disagreed with and more moderately liberal folk started to embrace the slur thrown in their direction as a positive ("I am a proud social justice warrior/bard/etc").  Now SJW seems to be moving back to its original meaning as more and more normal folks experience bruising encounters on social media with the extremist element the term was originally coined for.

When I mention SJWs assume I'm talking about that extreme element - the people that clothe themselves in the language of social justice and use it as cover to engage in online thuggery (a good example of which can be found here).  I've been fairly open about my own distaste for this group of people and with good reason.  I'm a creator and while I'm fine with negative criticism, seeing concerted, organised attempts to shut writers/game developers/film makers down because someone didn't like the themes they were using or their personal politics make me very nervous.  While they're coming from the opposite ends of the political spectrum, SJWs are the Mary Whitehouses, Tipper Gores and Jack Thompsons of this generation with a slightly different paint job.

Which brings me back to character archetypes.  SJWs are the modern Stop-Having-Fun-Authority (as in you can't do x because it's cultural appropriation/triggering/offensive to people with skin as thick as tissue paper/insert buzzword of the day).  The Stop-Having-Fun-Authority is a typical antagonist in comedy (and sometimes an annoying obstacle in horror).  Typically they're a religious and highly conservative authority figure over-stepping themselves in order to play morality police.  With the declining influence of that group it wouldn't surprise me if we start seeing the overbearing morality police characters coming from the other side of the political spectrum. An enterprising comedy writer could definitely have a lot of fun lampooning that aspect of modern US college campuses.

It's something I've been musing about for my own stories.  Creating a truly awful character in the knowledge you're going to inflict a hideous fate on them is one of the pleasures of writing horror.  In the past I've used the usual tropes - the corrupt politician, violent thugs, the office sex pest, a group of obnoxious teens, a critic abusing their role for sexual favours - and I think there's potential to add various flavours of SJW to that list.  If only to make a change from the usual 'guy being an asshole to women and getting his comeuppance at vagina of succubus' story. :)

I did have a playful dab at it here, but to be fair the protagonist is rather mild and the only thing they're guilty of is naivete and foolishness.  (Not that I'm exactly known for showing mercy to the naive and foolish).

Given that most people's patience appears to be running thin on SJW nonsense, I'd love to nail that archetype correctly in a cosmic justice type story.  I think it will require a little more work to create a truly satisfying SJW asshole protagonist.  There are a few pitfalls to avoid.  In this case I think an ostensibly apolitical approach is correct.  "Haha, take that pinko scum for being a stupid libtard" will play well for a small audience and very badly for the rest.  Go for the character's actions making them an asshole rather than what they believe (or pretend to believe).

I'm curious to see what Roth does with The Green Inferno.  His previous movies (Hostel in particular) have been interesting in how he subverts the usual horror tropes in who gets killed and when.  The innocent virgin has about the same chance of surviving a Roth horror as the slutty-girl-who-sleeps-around character in a Friday the 13th film (basically, none).

It's worth dissecting Deodato's classic horror, Cannibal Holocaust, at this point as this is the main influence to The Green Inferno.  The main characters in that film are so repulsive and what they do is so repugnant most viewers will be cheering on the cannibals way before the end of the movie.  A problem for a lot of horror films (as opposed to horror short stories) is forcing your audience to spend an hour-or-so in the company of utter assholes while they wait for them to meet their horrible ends can get a little wearing.  Cannibal Holocaust gets around this by running two story lines.  The moral centre, of sorts, to the tale is provided in the character charged with finding out what happened to the original film crew and returning with their footage.

From what I've seen and read so far, it sounds like the soon-to-be cannibal fodder in The Green Inferno fall more into the category of naive and stupid slacktivists than the vicious online thugs and bullies normally associated with the SJW label.  It will probably still be a lot of fun watching them all get eaten, though.