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Here's another little excerpt, this time from The Spiders of Thomisoidus:
Of the list of possible planets to be posted to, Thomisoidus was down in the bottom half. It was a gloomy, brooding place. Vast swathes of the planet’s surface, the only habitable areas, consisted of gigantic twisted trees rising out of a vast primordial bog. The light from Thomisoidus’s sun was so weak the vegetation was all brown, almost verging on black, as if even this small amount of reflected light was grudgingly returned. Beneath the canopy the forest was swathed in perpetual dark gloom. Festooned with decrepit old lines of spider silk, most of the forest Joe had seen resembled the sets from old antique horror flatties.
Thomisoidus wasn’t without its positives. One of them was currently leading their small expeditionary group as a guide.
“We should leave,” Amycis said, checking the silent trees around them. “The fire may attract others.”
Amycis was typical of the Aphantokiles, the indigenous people of Thomisoidus, which meant by Earth standards she was a total babe. She—like all the Aphantokiles—had bright blue skin and long lilac hair. So what, it really didn’t matter when the average Aphantokile had a figure that looked like it had come straight from a Bosom Babe focus node and their cultural philosophy precluded the wearing of any clothes. It wasn’t a surprise The Company used pictures of the Aphantokiles to sucker gullible fools into signing up for five year residency contracts.
Joe was one such fool. He’d been too busy dreaming of a paradise planet populated with blue-skinned alien babes, he’d rushed to sign up before actually bothering to do the research.
Yeah, not so smart. Had he done some checking up first he’d have discovered the things The Company neglected to mention—the endless bogs, the perpetual gloom and the spiders, those damn creepy-eyed giant spiders.
Too late now, he was stuck here, four and a half years still to go on his contract. What a moron.
He consoled himself by watching the lovely curves of Amycis’s ass waggle from side to side as she walked in front of him. Absently, he fantasised about that perfect peach bouncing in his lap even though it was a waste of time. It wasn’t that the Aphantokiles weren’t approachable, it was just...well...it was complicated.
Joe was woken from his daydream by a sudden crack and cry of surprise. Part of the felled log they were walking on gave way underneath Amycis’s feet and she toppled over the side. They weren’t very far from the ground and it was only a short tumble to the floor below. Thankfully the bog wasn’t so deep here and Amycis had fallen into a shallow section where the water didn’t rise much higher than her calves.
Everything would have been fine—Amycis was unhurt and already getting back to her feet—but then a monstrous spider appeared out of the gloom right behind her.