Thursday, June 16, 2011

Locked in with a Succubus: The Inside View

Okay, so it looks like I need to run through an explanation after all. :)

Whether people got it or not depended on whether they'd already read my earler story: Delivery Special Soap. That's a fail on my part as I always intended the recurring characters and cheeky little references to enhance the stories for the readers who were familiar with my other works, but not be essential to the understanding of the story for the first time reader.

Here's a little peek from the other side to clear up any confusion:

Demons (and possibly other mythological beings) exist in that world, but they're rare and largely unknown. George doesn't know they exist. Inari, the mysterious woman he does some odd jobs for, does and she has a problem.

Virgins are extremely tasty delicacies to a succubus, especially the nice ones and even more so the older ones. As Nicole points out, George is quite the hot commodity in the succubus world. Inari knows it's only a matter of time before one of the nastier demons (Like Orchrhys in Delivery Special Soap) catches his scent and makes a snack out of his soul.

George hints at Inari's earlier attempts in Part 6, although he doesn't recognise them for what they are.

The problem is he's now too old and a little too tasty. (Hinted at twice. At the very beginning Nicole isn't going to let him into her house. He also mentions about the masseuse, Arisa, making an excuse and leaving. They're worried they're going to eat the poor guy!)

The wine is important as most of you probably guessed.

Mysterious label. No recognisable branding. Yeah, that's not wine. It's how George is able to have a lot of sex with Nicole and not meet the usual fate of most of my protagonists when they have a lot of sex with a succubus. It keeps his energy levels high enough so he doesn't die. (Hinted at again. Nicole recognises what it is. As soon as George shows her the bottle she changes her mind and lets him in)

Nicole picks up on George's slightly submissive tendencies, but gets it wrong with the first room - a classic dominatrix dungeon - she picks.

The second room is right and Nicole reveals her succubus nature. Because of the wine she can also be a little more sexually aggressive than normal.

Except it goes wrong and she loses control. Her behaviour should (I hope!) seem a lot different in Part 9 compared to other chapters.

George passes out and then wakes back up. What happened in the meantime? Another oblique hint. George notices smudges on her cheeks. Succubi can cry and Nicole was extremely upset a few moments before. She thought she'd killed him.

Of course, I'm not going to tell you this. Why spoil the fun when there's another three chapters of will-she-won't-she-kill-him to play with! :)

It's all from George's PoV, so he doesn't realise. Nicole, ever the sublime consort, slips straight back into her role as the teasing demoness. At this point George is in no danger. Nicole has already taken his virginity and gorged on his energy. The final pieces to explaining her behaviour drop into place in Part 12 when she tells George she knows what his secret fantasies are.

The explanation for it all is in the epilogue when Nicole tells Inari her "stink is all over him".

Yeah, if you haven't read Delivery Special Soap, you've got no chance with that one. In the world Nicole inhabits, it makes sense for demons not to tangle with each other over a single human when there are so many others to prey upon. Nicole has fulfilled Inari's request. She's taken George's virginity (so he's no longer a beacon of tasty snackness to other sex demons) and claimed him as 'her kill'. Which was Inari's aim right from the start. Whether the other demons hold up to that, well that's another story...

That's a bit of a booboo on my part. Oblique references to link the story with Arisa from the earlier story are one thing. It's an Easter Egg for the people that spot the reference. Making it vital to understanding the denouement . . . that's the kind of clever-cleverness that falls straight into stupid.

Oh well. That's the good part about putting stories up for free. It's easier to make the right corrections before they find their way into anthologies. :)

I hope that clears things up anyway.


  1. Reading what you posted here, what stories are interconnected, as in they take place in the same "verse" for lack of a better term? I ask this because a lot of your stories seem to have connections. In reminds me of Stephen King's stories since many of them have some connection, however small, to other stories often through cameos or something.

    To give an example from science fiction, Stargate SG-1, Stargate Atlantis, and Stargate Universe are all different shows but they all share the same universe and place. Or look at Tolkien's novels. The Hobbit and Lord of the Rings are two different stories but they both take place in Middle-Earth.

  2. There are connections between some of the stories. More connections will reveal themselves over time ;)

  3. M.E. I'm only putting this here because I wouldn't know whether or not posting it in an older entry would bump that entry up, but there is a site called that has a bunch of pictures of the Monster Girl Quest game:

    There is also an English translation patch for the game, though I think it only does 50% of the game:

    Considering the game is from Japan, did the shipping cost quite a bit? Also were there problems you experienced, like the game crashing, when you first started it up?

  4. The game's a download. No shipping required. You'll need to go into your computer settings and changing the regioning to Japanese to be able to display the characters without crashing. All the details should be in my earlier post.

    Somebody mentioned they were going to translate on the MGU forum. I tried the demo version with the first fight with the slime and it worked fine. I think the dude was having some troubles with the game save code. Not sure if that's resolved. Either way it's a lot of work. The game has about a visual novel's worth of text!

  5. Was the translation good, or was it Babelfish style translation?

    Also how far did the demo go up to?

    Finally you said it's just a download, but is it free? I think you still have to pay money for the game right?

  6. Translation is just about enough to follow the storyline.

    The guy working on the translation is about halfway through. I think a new demo went up on the hongfire thread this weekend. The translations cover 50% of the game.

    The original game you have to buy from the dlsite (link in the earler post). The guy working on the translations only provides a few replacement files.