Sunday, October 10, 2021

New(ish) Story for Literotica's 2021 Halloween Story Competition: "The Subway Succubus"

 My entrant for Literotica's 2021 Halloween Story competition is up:

"The Subway Succubus"

Okay, so this one isn't brand spanking new.  I wrote it last year.  I was a bit poor with competition deadlines last year.  "The Succubus in Mr Herbert's Summer House" was supposed to be my entrant to the Summer Lovin' competition.  I didn't finish it in time, so I entered it into the Halloween competition instead.  "The Subway Succubus" was supposed to be my entrant for the 2020 Halloween competition, but I didn't finish that either.  I posted it afterwards.  It was rejected for being a little too nasty, so I used it as a (temporary) patron-exclusive on Patreon.

Roll around to 2021 and I'm a bit iffy on whether I'll be able to finish a new story for this year's competition.  I lost the first week of October to having to redo most of September's work after a software crash, and I'm currently up to my eyeballs trying to get a new public release of "House of Hellish Harlots" ready.

I do have a half-written story that I was originally planning to finish and enter, and I will set aside a couple of days next week to see if I can finish it.  What with everything else going on, I'm not confident that will happen and it will likely get pushed back for another attempt next year.

Then I remembered I had "The Subway Succubus" lying around.  I thought I'd resubmit it with a nice big disclaimer at the top and see if it would go through this time.  And it did.

As an aside, if I feel the need to put a disclaimer at the start, yeah, you can be sure the story is going in some nasty places.  So, consider yourself warned.  I wanted to write a proper scary-monster-succubus for this one.  It definitely brings the 'horror' of  'erotic horror' and gets a bit icky at the end.

Normally I write a bit about how Literotica's competition scoring works, but it's not really necessary in this case.  This one isn't placing, so there's no need to worry about that!

Anyway, I hope you enjoy (and are not too traumatised!) 


  1. Its not so bad. Not as horrific as Nazi vs Succubus. Trust me reading that was even difficult for me. It did remind me of that one show.

    I think it was called "We All Scream for Ice Cream" where kids are given "cursed" ice cream to eat but it causes a random person to melt when they eat it.

    Is that why you went for the melting angle or was it the melting scene from Cube?

    1. It felt like a good fit.

      Most 'horror' horror succubi in media will switch to fangs and claws so you get the gore shots. I think that's pretty bad for erotic horror as it jettisons all the eroticism for a cheap shock. I prefer doing it this way. Messes with people's heads more. :)

  2. *Billy*

    Jesus Hydra! Horror Head really did take control of you this time...

  3. And there goes another reason why humans are so screwed. It makes Nicole’s claims needing to hide from the angry human mob laughable. A succubus straight up killed and ate a man in a PUBLIC place with multiple men watching, but couldn’t do anything as they were instantly charmed.

    It doesn’t help that the daemons are good at making people disappear like you explained in the other posts, so what made the succubus in that Nazi story sloppy? Was she “young” succubus? Did she underestimate the power of charm on the men and didn’t expect them to break out of it?

    Nicole acts like a large squad of heavily armed and well-trained marines with assault rifles are going to kick down her door the moment a few people discover she’s a daemon.

    The daemon’s mind screw ability to make you forget you had friends is fucking scary, so again, its hard to believe Nicole’s concern when a succubus can easily charm and mind wipe a group of men with ease.

    1. Different power levels and abilities. Subway succubus isn't really in this world, and can take prey out of it. Nicole is in the world and would be vulnerable if there were dedicated attempts to go after her.

      A plot point for the Nazi story was that one of the guards was a closet gay, so the succubus's charm on him wasn't as strong as she thought. He was able to break it faster and provide enough distraction for them to eventually banish her (albeit at a high cost).

      A lot of it is also to do with the tone of the stories. Because it's erotica, the succubus generally has to 'win' and get a chance to do her sexy stuff. If I was writing more typical Urban Fantasy within the same setting, you'd get succubus hunters with silver-edged blades and protective charms. Succubi getting sliced and diced before they got to do anything interesting wouldn't make for hot erotica though.

  4. Well you got to take a mind man, MEH's story is going to be about femdom and succubi. I read an old MEH post that it breaks the femdom and immersion if the dude shrugs the charms off of a succubus and blows her brains out with a shotgun.

    Its like if the horror movie monster fails to kill anyone and dies in one hit. It breaks the suspense and horror if no one isn't truly in danger.

    Or expecting to see high octane action and blood and gore in a wholesome slice of life anime.

    MEH succubi may seem overpowered, but its because the succubi are mainly "attacking" men that don't know their true nature and are caught off guard.

    That and the fact that most men will let their guard down by an attractive looking woman that wants to fuck him. The sexy cute girls that wants to bang him isn't going to give off a lot of threat like a swearing muscle bound mean looking biker dude does.

    MEH focuses on the Bad Ends where the succubi are at the strongest and the men are at their weakest.

    Besides, succubi do vary in power level. A man can beat up and even kill Corene and the scarlet imps. Most of the harlots can be killed by gun fire.

    The succubi fairies can easily die to a simple 9mm round, succubi like Panta and Vete can die to a head shot. Anna Boa can die to a headshot as well. Gun fire probably wouldn't faze the slime girls and Morticia Rose would most likely laugh it off.

    Don't know about the Doctoress creations. They might have bullet proof skin. I don't know.

    But this is to show that the succubi aren't as powerful as you think.

    1. Yep, the power levels vary a lot. If I'd written the ProudMaleFeminist story from Corene's perspective she'd have seemed like a typical terrified 'final girl' trying to figure out how to survive the serial killer (although she has a few more unorthodox weapons at her disposal).

      Guns would have a problem working in the House (similar to the problems they have in H-space - a hidden plot point at the moment). Most of the daemons can be shot outside of it. Daemons can take more punishment, though (also dependent on power).

  5. It's also possible that there are other factions working to keep the Supernatural (and demons including Succubi,) from just decimating Humanity.

    Like the Warlock School. The more competent ones could be suppressing weaker demons in the human world. Though really, the only person with definitive answers to this question is MEH.

    1. Yup. I don't have all of them at the moment. I tend to keep a rough idea in the background and fill in more worldbuilding when required.

      The rough theory I work on is it's quite hard for daemons to break into and stay in the world. In Succubus Summoning they need the warlocks as a sort of tether. In other stories they either can't stay long or have been brought in permanently through some other means.

      One of the novel ideas I have does have a taste of what a full-fledged daemon apocalypse would look like (if the naturally existing barriers came down). I should get that finished at some point!

    2. An sexy succubi-apocalypse novel written by the one and only Master of Succubi himself would be such a treat! I would definitely buy it!

  6. *Billy*

    I personally don't see the succubi that bad unless a succubus that's as strong as Minagi from MGQ or the six winged White Devil succubus from Succubus Prison goes to Earth.

    Daemons like Carny and Morticia Rose definitely need to be kept under wraps.

    1. Some are definite world enders if they get in and break down the barriers separating that Earth from one of the dominions.

  7. Bear with me ya’ll because I have finally laid out my theory after constant reading of Subway Succubus, A Chance Glance, and Hooligans. Let me know what you all (including you Mr. Hydra) think about this.

    What the daemons from the Dominions are doing on Earth are doing is what I named the “Claiming Event” is when a daemon attacks and kills and/or eats a human when the human performs a “special” action in front of them, or the daemon hears of it.

    The daemons from what I’ve noticed aren’t just killing random humans, but rather the human is performing an action based on what sin the daemon represents.
    Carny is a wrath daemon, so the kinds of humans that he hunts are humans with anger problems and are quick to fight and kill. He was summoned at the bar because the men there performed a violent action against an innocent; this caused the Claiming Event, and which sealed their fate.

    The other wrath daemon, Caco was deliberately trying to get a human to attack him, so he can trigger the Claiming Event and collect the human’s soul. This was intercepted by Carny not just because Carny was able to discover that Devon isn’t a violent human, but was annoyed at how Caco was using a succubus to help him.

    It’s clear that Caco is the weaker wrath daemon since he submitted to Carny’s demands, and since Caco can’t take him in a fight, he was going to spite Carny by sending in another kind of daemon (Boobella) to trigger the Claiming Event, hence why Carny countered by sending Nyte there.

    For succubi, their Claiming Event is a man acting flirty and seductive back at them. The succubus flirts and the man must resist and show that he’s not interested, but if he gives into the seductive advances of the succubus, he will cause the Claiming Event. Like Carny said, a succubus won’t just pounce from the shadows and starts humping the man, she’ll seduce him first.

    The subway succubus didn’t fuck Alex because he didn’t trigger the Claiming Event as he resisted and ignored her charms, but once Gage kissed the succubus, he triggered the Claiming Event, and his fate was sealed.

    Of course, if the human is in Hell, then there is no Claiming Event, and the human is about as screwed as a rabbit hopping in the forest infested with hungry wolves.

    You know, despite this all being succubus sex smut, its really fascinating to take it all apart and study it with a serious hand. I know, I know, it sounds funny to look for good merits in porn stories, but when it does, its great. That’s why stories like MGQ are fantastic.
    Anyway, that’s all I got for today, go away now.

    1. That's close to it (bearing in mind I keep the rules more as guidelines and try to keep them internally consistent where I can).

      I think it's also a universal rule of horror. If the monster is very powerful, they need to also be hobbled by restrictions on who they can take. Protagonists generally bring the doom down upon themselves through their own actions.

      That said, I do like to upend that sometimes with a few cosmic 'injustice' stories. You have to sacrifice a few innocent lambs every so often so the horror retains its teeth. Most succubi tend to treat their prey very nicely, so the stories are still fun (and generally, readers seem to prefer the nice guys getting succ'ed more than the assholes).

      Also, props for the catchphrase usage. I love me a Critical Drinker vid. :)

  8. You all are doing serious talk of Many Eyed Hydra's work while im just seating here, crying over the fact that Zuripai Suponji doesn't have a "breast feeding" scene. Damn how will I satisfy my lactating big tit tall girl fetish?

    Oh the humanity!

    1. I need to give the Busty Milk Spreader her own harlot scenario. Quite a few people have requested that! :)

  9. Holy shit man, that's a great deep dive in what the daemons follow. It's pretty much established that the succubi and other monsters on Earth practice a Masquerade rule, much like the vampires have to do in the World of Darkness setting.

    I'm eager to see how MEH is going to respond to your post and my posts, Anon.

    I hope we get a harlot that likes strong men that know how to fight. Similar to Anna Boa but the harlot forces the PC to fight a daemon from another Dominion in her room.

    (Like a weak violence daemon)

    If PC's strength and agility is high enough, he gets sexy times with harlot but if he loses, he suffers Horror End to the daemon he's fighting.

    1. One of the factions will be focused on erotic wrestling. They love big strong men (or rather, overpowering and dominating big strong men).

      Anna Boa is their only representative at the moment. I have a quite a few other ideas written down.

      I don't think I'll be having the player fight other dominion daemons. It'll just be various lust daemons like Anna Boa that like a bit of sweaty rough'n'tumble foreplay to get their juices flowing.

    2. Big Strong Men being dominated by a Succubi?

      I'd pay to see that.

  10. Is it true that warlocks pretty much need daemons to cast their spells? Do most of their strength comes from the daemon? Can a warlock be powerful without a daemon?

    1. In the Succubus Summoning universe they draw the magic from the surrounding dominions. A daemon 'familiar' gives a steady source, but a warlock can summon others on a more temporary basis.

      A warlock probably couldn't get powerful without a daemon, but past a certain level I could see one being able to go it alone, although they'd still need access to draw the power from the dominions.

    2. So they're like Sorcerers from the Marvel comics universe? In them, they draw from other realties, but in the MEH universe, they draw them from their daemons?

    3. I think of it more as both opening conduits. The daemon keeps a conduit open for the warlock to draw power from the dominions. The warlock keeps a conduit open for the daemon to snack on tasty human souls.

  11. Is the Madam and Cerluea Princesses of Hell like Ceptophthorie?

    1. The hierarchies vary from location to location. The Madam and Cerulea are both pretty powerful. (If I implement random events, Cerulea will likely show up in the House, maybe in conversation with Morticia).

  12. And thank you very much Mr. Hydra for responding to my drabbles on the Claiming Event. I’m happy that I’m semi-right. What I like about you is that you answer everyone and aren’t like those nuggets that get annoyed and blow people off. You have good patience to reply to anyone, whether its good criticism or questions about your characters and world building.

    Now the fact that you have said that there are world ending daemons? Holy bollocks, mankind in your world is fucked man. More fucked than a lad’s stomach after an all-night binge at the local pub. But this made me think…

    What would a super succubus that’s an outright sex goddess be like?

    Would she be like the Nightmares from the Paradox Collab? If you haven’t played it yet, it’s basically Monster Girl Paradox that is crossed over with other H-games (Succubus Prison being one of them) it features Luka and the other male leads needing to join together to fight the Nightmares.

    Now the succubi in the game are called Nightmares, but what makes them quite overpowered and different from the other succubi is the fact they can ONLY be beaten by pleasure. This means these succubi are pretty much invincible to all damage/harm and can only be beaten through sexual pleasure, which of course no human can do.

    It would be like a man trying to outlast Pix Decipula and of course we know who is always going to be the winner.

    Would a high-end succubus in the Dominion of Lust will have a special trait like that? Like a soldier with a gun runs into one, he tries to shoot at her, but she giggles evilly as the bullets bounce off her sexy boobs and toned stomach and takes no damage.

    1. I tend to vary the power levels, but try to avoid making the succubi too invincible.

      The rough rules I use are that the daemons can regenerate faster than a human, but are still vulnerable to massive amounts of damage (although it would mostly cause them to pull back into the home dominion rather than dying outright). Silver messes with the regeneration and slows it down.

      In H-space, there is a reason why the guns don't work and it's not exactly the physics playing a part. H-space is pretty hostile to modern tech. I had to do this to keep it threatening. Even with faster regeneration and powerful mind control, the daemons are chopped liver if the humans can just roll in with tanks and start blasting away. The main theme I wanted to get across is that the H-space daemons are attacking on a different axis. Rather than having the bullets bounce off, their goal is to make the soldier too horny to want to shoot them in the first place.

      I've not played the Paradox collab. Only being vulnerable to pleasure seems fitting for that world. I like the idea of lust daemons using sex moves on each other for 'fights'. Humans doing it to lust daemons probably wouldn't work. I do like the battle-fuck genre. If I was going to implement a game like that - maybe a warlock with lust powers could fit the background?

  13. I do like KC's world and his idea of trying to make it into something really wholesome and great is cool, but there are some unfortunate problematic things that are in his setting, though were some people would see it as grimedark. And yes, I know it wasn't KC's intentions, but you can't the reality/logic of it.

    You got things like:

    -Little girls being turned into succubi and raping grown ass men.

    -Gay men being turned into succubi.

    -The fact that you aren't really given a choice on what monster girl you want, so instead of trying to get with an elf girl or succubus, a wurm or mushroom girl rapes you into submission.

    -The monster girls destroy human marriages, taking away a married man and will only not kidnap the man if he is already in a relationship with a monster girl. The human wife is fucked over.

    -Demonic/mamomo energy is broken as fuck; anything can be turned into a man hungry monster girl, even the angels and Lovecraftian beings aren't safe.

    See? These are why some people see it as a bit dark.

    1. I think for that kind of fantasy you have to skirt over some of the consequences and not think about them. Most erotica tends to be 'in the moment' stuff and not think about the messy consequences. It's fine as long as people don't confuse it with real life and that's easier to do in a fantasy setting.

      I'm guessing that's why KC doesn't like people going into those areas. His seems more of a fun-fantasy setting and he doesn't want the bubble popped, which is fine.

      I tend to be a little selective with the H-space stories. I doubt my readers would like highly detailed and graphic scenes of what a giant goat-headed incubus does to a man if he catches one! :) Also the same for the occasions when the humans have the upper hand - probably not fun to visualise a bunch of pretty succubi getting their heads blown off (even if they are evil predators).

  14. Yo MEH how ya doing and wow, quite a response to your fans.

    I was laughing my ass off at the dude quoting the Critical Drinker XD

    I was wondering, do all succubi have painted nails?

    I like to think Verde's fingernails and toenails are painted green.

    Rosa's is painted red.

    Nurse Honey's is painted white.

    Cerluea's is painted blue.

    And Nyte's is painted black.

    Do all succubi have their nails painted or some of them do?

    And yes, MEH, I do have a fetish for painted nails much like a dude has a fetish for women wearing lipstick.

    1. Would be less paint and more their natural coloration. The colours would match. Cerulea is a little chaotic, so hers would likely change.

  15. I hope there's an institute in place that combats the Succubi, they've gotten powerful and really brave (hunting prey in public transportation)... and I hope that institution soon finds its members being hunted by said Succubi.

    1. It's not something I've gone into too deep. Maybe as a mysterious background piece.

      I think my setting varies in that there isn't really an institution to fight the succubi. The humans that know about it tend to be the Herberts and Koontzs - succubi and other lust daemons are tools they can leverage for their own ends. That feels more in keeping with human nature to me.

      The daemons are probably more kept in check by each other. The different dominions are in competition. They want to keep the Earth in play, which means hindering the other dominions from getting too powerful.

  16. I do wonder how you are going to do harlots that like public sex (Exhibitionism) would the harlot bang the MC on the stage of the bar?

    1. I want to implement random bar events at some point in HoHH.

      That would give another form of forewarning as the player gets to see what a harlot does in a stage show before getting the option of choosing her later.

      Those events might also include the player getting 'volunteered' to take part in a show as well.

  17. *Billy*

    Is Cerluea a "fighting" succubus like Nyte and Rosa? Can she transform into a fearsome Doom like monster if her seduction fails against a human trying to hurt her or she runs into a daemon that wants her dead.

    Also does she feed on people off screen? We never see her slurping up human souls, so can she go the longest without feeding on a human?

    1. She'd probably drive them insane long before the fight. She is an eldritch kind of succubus.

  18. Rosa is from Elemental Plane of Consumas Infernum? Found in succubus summoning 211. Verde also come from here? What is this plane? Mean Elemental Plane of Consumas Infernum. + you could write about plane-s? What is their strongest /weakest part meaning in lust dominion.

    1. + how many planes in the dominion of lust. What are they and what is the specialisaton of them.

    2. I tend to create the subregions as necessary, so definitely don't want to put forward a number and have it constrain me later. Rosa probably has affinity to that plane, or some connection to be able to draw power from it. She does like setting things on fire.

      Those planes are more like bubbles where dominions overlap. Succubi from close to the boundary, or where it overlaps, might favour heat and fire. That would also be where salamander-type monster girl lust daemons would come from. Directly within the plane is just fire elementals. They just set things on fire.

  19. (Succubi Lover)

    *My new name that I'll go by instead of Anon. Apologies lad, but I don't feel comfortable making an account on here given how crappy my computer acts with blogs.


    Hoped you had a good Halloween, lad and Happy No Nut November!

    It was fun celebrating with the family, but I do like what you did with H-Space regarding the weapons and tech. Its true that if humans went all “Fortunate Son” on the daemons by bringing in tanks and shit, the daemons would be destroyed. However, even if the human army can mow down the daemons, they are still screwed once they run into the high-end daemons.

    Like Cerula said, its downright suicidal for humans to venture too deep into Hell. They’ll start running into eldritch high-end daemons that can make their brains melt by their mere presence.

    Sorry lad, but I don’t buy you saying that the daemons are “chopped liver” when you got daemons like Morticia Rose, Carny, and Cerula around.

    Not to mention it just isn’t the lust daemons they have to worry about, daemons like Carny are gonna be a fucking nightmare to fight given the fact that he can move faster than a bullet. Hell, even if that Hooligan pub was filled with combat-ready marines with high-caliber rifles and armor instead of normal civilians, Carny still would have torn through them with ease.

    Tanks and attack helicopters are unfortunately meaningless when your enemy is a monster that can heal like Deadpool and can move faster than the blink of an eye.

    Although, you did say you vary power levels, so not every daemon is going to be a bullet-dodging, car-throwing, mind melting “combat monster” which is why I am thankful you made a weak succubus like Corene to show that not every daemon is an unstoppable force.

    There’s probably a weak wrath or violence daemon that a human with no magic can beat.

    And to answer your question about a warlock battle fucking…It could work. Obviously, a normal person is screwed (literally) if they try to beat a lust daemon at sex. The only human I can “somewhat” see battle fucking lust daemons (low level ones) is Sammy given the fact that she needs to pretty much act and behave like a succubus or she’ll be killed, her sex skills must be higher than a professional porn star. If these devotees can teach her sex magic, I can see her doing it.

    Haha, there was a battle fucking scene in SS 101 with Verde vs Bedmistress; a shame Verde loss because she looked like she was winning.
    Speaking of Sammy, what would the poor gal say if the dude told her that she can’t be a succubus and that its all a lie? Would she deny it? Would she say something like this?

    PC: “You’re not a succubus and you can never be one, this is all a cruel trick! We need to get out of here!”

    Sammy: “Silence you pathetic little human, you just might be the soul I need to fully become one!”

    You've also piqued my interest about Cerluea speaking with Morticia Rose. What exactly is an eldritch succubus and an eldritch shadow daemon gonna chat about? The weather? Humans they liked to eat?

    1. Yep, that is a fairly good distinction on power levels. Tanks and mortars would make chopped liver out of the rank and file daemons, but if the humans progressed deeper into Hell, they'd hit daemons with comparably destructive magic and lose horribly on the daemon's turf. Although, it probably wouldn't be destructive magic. It would be similar to the Great Fog puffers in that they'd flood the area with mind control gases. Or have siren song abilities to hypnotise. The lust dominion prefers to incapacitate so it can play with later.

      The harlots in the House are aware of what Sammy is. Some are sympathetic, some are cruel, some are curious, some are uncaring, and some want to aid her for her own ends. I will get around to writing a full arc for her at some point.

      I think her reaction to being told she can't become a succubus would be complex. She doesn't want to become a soul-eater, but she's terrified of dying and having her soul eaten. I think she'd more likely have a weird breakdown, but also be relieved, rather than continue the daemon femdom act. I'm not sure how I'd write that. I think it would be fairly weighty in terms of character development, but I'd have to walk a tightrope to make sure it doesn't ruin the overall eroticism and become a buzzkill.

  20. *Billy*

    Shows on the bar stage? HELL YEAH HYDRA! That's fucking awesome.

    The very first story that got me hooked on your work was "The Biggest Tits in the World" and reading that scene of the announcer narrating what was happening on the stage made me quite hot and bothered :)

    Having the Madam or some succubus announce what is happening on the stage while the men and their lust daemon dates watching on is gonna make me lose my cool lol

    1. I was thinking of it as extra events that happen in the bar, but it could also work as a harlot scenario. Instead of taking the player up to her room, the harlot takes them to one of the stages and puts on a live sex show. That could be fun, I think.

      I could maybe even just adapt the short story, like I did with Acarina (vampiric boobies succubus).

  21. Little bit peeved at the vague disclaimer 'a little icky' - given you've written pieces like 'Vampiric Boobies',{the one about the earth mother or a succubus out of turds I think, forget the title}, and 'Nazi vs Succubus' - and the disclaimer for the latter was a bit more useful for making an informed decision as a reader. The only other context are the tags 'wet' and 'messy' which can describe everything from a shower scene to a presidential blackmail tape.

    That being said, it's a cool piece.

    1. It's more for Literotica. "Subway Succubus" was rejected when I tried submitting it a year ago.

      "Nazi vs Succubus" is far worse, for sure, but I wouldn't even try submitting that to Literotica. There's no way they'd accept it.