Showing posts with label Jackson in HRPG-World 4. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Jackson in HRPG-World 4. Show all posts

Saturday, May 11, 2013

Jackson in HRPG-World: 4-9 Bubble Bother

We’re off into a strange combination of fetishes for Bab’s finishing move.  If it’s not your cup of tea I hope you at least get a few belly laughs at Jackson’s expense...

Jackson in HRPG-World: 4-9 Bubble Bother

Bab’s eyes twinkled.  She smiled.

“There’s just one final thing I want you to do for me,” she said.

Uh oh.

“Actually, it’s something I want to do to you.”

Triple uh oh.

“Mmm, all this... activity has put me in the mood for something really filthy.”

More Uh ohs than he could count.

Bab’s green eyes gleamed with lust.  “Bubblegum anal,” she said.

“Uh, okay, I guess,” Jackson said, really hoping the words wouldn’t return to bite him in the ass.

“Perfect,” Bab said with a breezy smile.

She stood up and there was a bounce in her step as she walked over to the small table standing next to the arcade machine.

“Don’t get up,” she called back.  “I’ll be right back.”

There wasn’t much chance of Jackson disobeying that request.  The bubbles imprisoning his hands and feet might have melted away, but he still felt as though he’d just finished a strenuous bout of gym exercise.  His body wanted a good lie down even though that was all he’d done for the last half hour or so.

Bab came back from the table and stood over him.  He noticed there was a pouch dangling from her left wrist that hadn’t been there before.

“So, about that help,” Jackson asked in a hopeful tone.  He looked up at her face through the rounded peaks of her breasts.

“Shh, this part is tricky,” Bab said.

She squatted down until her knees formed right angles.  A hand went down between her legs and rubbed along the lips of her sex.  Her eyelids drooped half-closed.  Her cheeks puffed in and out.  She lifted her tail and Jackson saw something emerge.

A brown something.

Eww, not scat, Jackson thought.

It wasn’t.  Not entirely.  It started to swell like a balloon and he realised it was another bubble.  Not that it made it any less yucky, considering where it had come from.

This had better be worth it, Jackson thought as the bubble expanded and enveloped his cock and balls.  Like before it felt soft, moist and stretchy, but there was also a noisome feeling to it, like the pleasure couldn’t quite override the disgust.

Not that his cock cared.  It swelled up and let the wet membrane engulf it.

Bab sat down as if the bubble was a space hopper.  The edges looked a little softer and gloopier for this bubble.  The colour, drab brown, also wasn’t in keeping with the vivid dayglo hues of the previous bubbles.

The other bubbles had smelt of sweet candy, Jackson thought.  Maybe this one was supposed to be chocolate.

It did not smell like chocolate.

Bab sat and wriggled her ass.  Jackson thought she was about to get her pneumatic on.  He was disappointed she hadn’t blown up another bed beneath him.  The floor was kind of hard.  Bab gave a couple of experimental bounces, but it was more like she manoeuvring to find a more comfortable position.

She leaned back, grabbed Jackson’s knees and lifted them up.  Her cheeks puffed in and out.  Jackson felt his hips and upper thighs lift up off the ground as the bubble inflated.  The soft membrane rolled down his thighs as Bab blew it bigger.

She switched position, this time leaning forward until her upper body was folded over his.  She grabbed his upper arms and leaned back, pulling his torso and head up off the ground with her.  He felt the advancing bubble membrane creep across his belly.  Beneath him it continued to swell—forming a cushion for first his buttocks and then expanding up under his lower back.  The elastic surface felt soft... squishy.  Just like a... no, best he didn’t pursue that line of thought.

“This is kind of gross,” Jackson said.

“It’s disgusting, I know,” Bab said, her green eyes shining.  “Getting this filthy really turns me on.”

Her cheeks puffed in and out.  The bubble continued to expand.  It rolled down past his knees in one direction and swelled up over his nipples in the other.  The bubble was getting as big as the one she’d trapped him in earlier, but this time the membrane was thicker.  Instead of Jackson slipping inside, the bubble swelled and deformed around him.  Bab gave a little grunt of exertion and the bubble grew until it engulfed everything of Jackson apart from his head.  Gentle pressure surrounded him and squeezed down on every part of his body.  Apart from a slightly icky squishiness it didn’t feel that bad.  Quite comfortable, actually.

“Whew, this is a hard finishing move to pull off,” Bab said as she paused to regain her breath.

“Uh?  Finishing move?” Jackson said, his eyes widening in alarm.

Bab bounced lightly on the brown bubble she’d cocooned Jackson in.  He felt waves of gentle force flow around his body.

“Yep.  Special moves are used during the fight.  Finishing moves are used afterwards for extra bonuses.  Just simple game terminology.  Nothing to worry about.”

Jackson was plenty worrying.  The bubble wrapped around him seemed to be getting tighter and tighter.  He couldn’t move his arms and legs.  It was like being slowly squeezed in an inflatable vice.

“Tight,” he squeaked.

“It’s meant to be tight,” Bab said, “just like anal sex.”

She playfully bounced on the bubble.  Waves of purple light washed across the translucent brown surface.  Jackson felt waves of warmth wash through his body and coagulate in his balls.

“And feel good,” she said, her voice low and husky, “just like anal sex.”

The bubble membrane squeezed up against and tugged on his erection with squishy suction.  That did feel good.  Really good.

“Uh yes.  Just lie back and let me give you a good squeeze,” Bab said with a husky sigh.

Her muscular thighs squeezed against the sides of the bubble.  The purple waves flowed with greater frequency.  Jackson felt a little screwy inside.  Loose.  Like everything that was him was tumbling down to concentrate at his crotch.  The last time he’d felt like this was when that succubus had used her tail to...  Oh fuck.

“Oh yes, I’m going to squeeze the good stuff out,” Bab said.  Her eyes were closed and her cheeks flushed red.

Oh you stupid fucking moron, Jackson thought.  She’d got him—tricked him and got him—and he’d let her do it, let her wrap him up in this bubble where he was trapped and helpless.  She was gathering his energies in his balls.  Getting him ready for her to fuck-suck out his soul.  The other succubus had tried to do that with her tail, had been about to fuck-suck him inside out, but the battle had ended first.  There was nothing to stop Bab, though.  She going to fuck-suck out his soul.

For real.

Jackson squirmed and writhed helplessly.  The sensations from his cock were crowding out everything else, as if the substance of his being was being torn down and added to an erection that was mushrooming up into a colossal tower.  Bab manipulated the bubble and the soft membrane squeezed him, caressed him, stroked him... urged him on with insistent suction.  She gave breathy sighs and grunts.  She pushed her heavy breasts out and they swayed with the motions of her body.  She cupped them and fondled the nipples.  Jackson was about to bubble over.  Bab rose up...

...and paused.

“Oh, that help,” she said.  “You need to find the Living Stone.  That’s the key to escaping the game universe.  Find that and you’ll find your way home.”

She sat down.  The bubble puffed out sideways.  Jackson felt the soft membrane squeezing all around his body.

He erupted.

It felt very much like coming himself inside out.

He twitched spasmodically inside the bubble as semen spurted from his throbbing cock.  A crazy racket of electronic bleeps blared out from the arcade machine.  Jackson’s hips bucked.  Pleasure whip-cracked through his body as his cock gushed...

...and gushed...

...and gushed...

...until Bab finally relaxed with a contented sigh.  The squeezing eased up and was replaced with a gentle rocking motion.  That odd empty feeling settled into Jackson.  All the colour seemed to have leached out of the world.  His ears felt clogged up with gum, with barely any sounds slipping through.  He couldn’t even smell the bubble anymore.

He was quite glad of that.

Bab opened the pouch dangling from her wrist.  She pulled out two silvery discs and pushed them between Jackson’s lips.  They tasted cold and metallic.  Coins?

Despite tasting and feeling like coins, the disks settled on his tongue and vanished.  As if they’d dissolved like a pill.  And like a pill, Jackson started to feel better.  The colour came back to the world and sounds returned to normal volume.

“I held a couple of credits back,” Bab said with a bright smile.  “You’re not an avatar.  Killing you would be permanent and I don’t want that.”

She leant over and kissed him on the forehead.

“Maybe we’ll meet up in one of the other games.”

She swished her tail round and whacked the bubble.  It didn’t burst, instead launching into the air like a beach ball with Jackson still stuck inside.  Bab blew him a kiss as he flew across the room.

“The Living Stone, don’t forget,” she called after him as Jackson sailed out of an open window.

* * * *

A forlorn-looking figure covered in evil-smelling gunk shambled into the village trailing puddles of brown gloop behind it.

“How went the battle with the dragon, sir?” a village guard asked.

“Could you point me in the direction of the nearest baths, please,” Jackson said.

Jackson in HRPG-World 4: Bubble Bother – END

Jackson will return in: “Jackson in HRPG-World 5: Lightning x Labyrinth x Lesbians.”

I’m not sure when the next one will go out.  I have a good idea of which game I’m going to be parodying and where the story is going to go, but I want to concentrate on getting a good chunk of Succubus Summoning 201 written first.

Sunday, May 05, 2013

Jackson in HRPG-World: 4-8 Bubble Bother

Hmm, lost the plot a little and ended up skipping last week.  Anyway, normal service is now resumed...

Jackson in HRPG-World: 4-8 Bubble Bother

Bab shifted position on top of him, turning around until her head was level with his.

“And how come all the succubus-type monsters seem to know this is a computer game?” he continued.

Bab ignored him.  She lowered her face until her nose brushed against his.  There was a big smile on her lips and her big green eyes sparkled with mischief.

“Fancy a bubblegum fuck?” she asked.

Jackson might, if he knew what one was.  Although he could take a good guess.

Bab lay on top of him and ground her mons against him.  The soft bubble-bed rocked and swayed with her motions.

“Hey,” Jackson said.  “You need to give me a chance to reload.  I’m not a porn star.  And they have to have all kinds of shit injected into their bollocks before they—”

Bab ignored him.  She sat up with her sex suspended above Jackson’s crotch.  She flexed her hips and Jackson watched as a pink bubble emerged from between the hairless folds of her sex.

Okay, so that was not a sight you saw every day, Jackson thought.  The ping-pong ball trick... for grandmasters.  Surprisingly kinky-looking as well.

And extremely kinky-feeling...

Jackson’s mouth formed an ‘o’ as the bubble expanded to envelop first his cock and then his balls in a sticky, stretchy membrane.

“Mmm, feels better than the one from my mouth, doesn’t it,” Bab purred.

Jackson didn’t disagree.  The membrane was thicker, softer, warmer, wetter—like how he imagined her pussy to be.  He should have been done.  Third time?  So soon?  Fugedaboutit.  Might as well hang up the ‘Do Not Disturb’ sign; his cock was out for the count.  Then it was enveloped in a soft, elastic membrane.  His erection jerked back up and poked against the expanding bubble.  It was up like Lennox Lewis waiting for the bell to announce round three.

“I love a bubblegum fuck,” Bab said.

She bounced up and down on the bubble.  Jackson felt her motions travel through the membrane.  It felt like his hard-on was plunging back and forth into something warm, moist and tight.  He knew it wouldn’t be long before she had him coming again.

“Lets me get really pneumatic,” Bab continued.

Her heavy breasts swung back and forth as she bounced up and down faster and faster.  Jackson was bouncing too, caught between the big bubble beneath them and the one engulfing his crotch.

It really wouldn’t be long before he came again.

Then his cock was inside the bubble.  It was the same as before—the membrane gave way, his penis slipped through, but rather than bursting, the bubble sealed right up around his genitals.  Bab bobbed down and the swollen head of his erection brushed along the exposed groove of her sex.  She held herself there in a squat that kept the hidden depths of her vagina tantalisingly just out of reach.  Her legs rubbed along the outside of the bubble as she opened them wider.

“I shouldn’t be doing this, but fuck it, you’ve got plenty of credits,” Bab said.

Doing what, Jackson thought.

Bab opened her legs wider.  She closed her eyes and let out a soft erotic moan.  The pink membrane of the bubble was translucent enough for Jackson to see her labia gape open.  Something spilled out.  It looked like black smoke, or maybe an inky-black liquid made out of writhing shadows.  It cascaded down his hard-on and—

Oh fuck.

Jackson writhed on top of the swaying bubble-bed in helpless pleasurable torment.  Fingers.  It felt like fingers.  Lots of fingers.  Warm, skilful, sensual, oil-covered fingers.  They tapped, caressed, stroked down his shaft until his cock was rock-hard and twitching.

The sensation was amazing, but there was also a wrongness about it—corruption, violation, depravity.

Bab knew it too.  Her smile seemed almost apologetic.

Jackson tried to sit upright.

“No struggling,” Bab said.

She pursed her lips and blew out a purple bubble.  It reached the size of a football and then she let it go.  The bubble drifted over Jackson’s body in a woozy elliptical arc before coming down on his right hand.  Before he could push it off it fused with the bigger bubble beneath him, pinning Jackson’s hand and wrist to the bubble-bed.  A second bubble swallowed his left hand and two more settled over his feet.  He was spread-eagled and shackled to the bubble-bed as surely as if Bab had handcuffed him to the bedposts.

“Relax,” Bab said.  “It’s only going to be a little sex drain.”

“Sex drain?”

“It is what a succubus does to her victim,” Bab smiled.

“Succubus?  I thought you were a dragon,” Jackson said.

Bab’s cheeks reddened.  She put a hand to her mouth.  “Oops.  That was naughty of me.  We’re not supposed to break kayfabe.”

Before Jackson could ask her what she meant she opened her legs wider and more darkness cascaded out into the bubble.  Jackson’s head fell back.  It felt like the most experienced hooker in the world was performing every trick she knew on his exposed genitals.

“Mmm, let’s draw it out,” Bab said.

She slowly rotated her hips on top of the bubble, occasionally pressing down against Jackson.  He felt incorporeal fingers lightly stroke his scrotal sack and his body responded.  His balls swelled up from empty.  It felt like she was drawing his energies down into his scrotum until his testicles felt plump and swollen.

As good as it felt, Jackson wasn’t sure he liked where this was going.

Bab moaned in pleasure as she rocked on top of the bubble.  Her wings were extended and there was definitely a touch of the demonic to her appearance now.  The bubble between her legs was filled with inky black clouds.  It had started to pulse of its own accord.  Each throb felt like a warm, moist stroke up and down Jackson’s shaft.

He couldn’t hold it in anymore.

“Mmm, yes,” Bab said.

She relaxed and sat down on the smoke-filled bubble.  The sides bulged out and kept bulging as the bubble seemed to breathe in.  Jackson felt the tug and couldn’t resist.  His hips bucked and he fired a torrent of semen into the swirling inky darkness.  The torrent became a white flood of bliss as a host of sinful sensations enveloped his genitals, encouraging more and more from him.

A series of strangled bleeps blared out from the arcade machine, like it was trying to play multiple copies of the same jingle simultaneously without the means to do so.

Bab gave a relaxed sigh of erotic contentment.  The bubble collapsed—imploded—as if her vagina had sucked the contents up into her body.  At the same time the bubble-bed beneath them gave out and started to deflate.  Jackson felt the heat of her body as Bab settled down on his upper thighs.  Scraps of gum still clung to his spent cock.  Another sigh, a little shiver running through her hips, and Bab sucked those back up into her.

Okay, yeah, that was a lot more impressive than the ping-pong ball trick, Jackson thought.  Or rather tried to think.  His head felt as scrambled as if he’d just bitten down on a live power cable.

Bab sucked on her fingers as if savouring a fine meal.

“Delicious,” she said.  “Absolutely delicious.”

Nothing had gone near her mouth this time.

“So that story about being forced to build a maze in order to find a prospective mate, how true was it?” Jackson said.  He felt a little out of breath.

“I might have made some of it up,” Bab said, grinning.  “It’s hard.  We don’t get as many roles in games now.  We have to be a little more... creative.”

“Who’s we?”

“Shhh,” Bab said.  “I’ll get into trouble.”

Jackson wanted to scream: ‘With who?’ but he didn’t have the energy.

“I like you,” Bab said.  She tickled his chest.  “I could keep you here forever, but that wouldn’t be right.  You want to get out of the game world?  I can help you.”

As floored—literally, the giant bubble beneath them had fully deflated—as Jackson felt, his ears pricked up.

“You can?”

Bab’s eyes twinkled.  She smiled.

“There’s just one final thing I want you to do for me,” she said.

Uh oh.

“Actually, it’s something I want to do to you.”

Triple uh oh.

“Mmm, all this... activity has put me in the mood for something really filthy.”

More Uh ohs than he could count.

Bab’s blue eyes gleamed with lust.  “Bubblegum anal,” she said.

to be concluded...

Saturday, April 20, 2013

Jackson in HRPG-World: 4-7 Bubble Bother

Bab shows off some more bubblegum tricks as the tale heads off to XXX-rating...

Jackson in HRPG-World: 4-7 Bubble Bother

“Shh,” Bab said.  “It’s your turn.”

She wiggled her crotch in his face to indicate what she meant by ‘his turn’.

“Now put that tongue out and give my pussy a good licking.  If you’re good I’ll reward you with some bubblegum 69.”

She smiled back at him and blew a little pink bubble before snapping the gum back into her mouth.  Jackson’s cock twitched at the sound.

Bab bucked her hips down, pushing her sex into Jackson’s face and bouncing his head off the elastic membrane beneath them.  Anyone would think she was trying to hint at something.

She let her full weight rest on Jackson’s face, burying his mouth and nose in the musky folds of her sex.  She giggled and wiggled her ass, pushing Jackson’s head around as she ground her pussy against his face.

Okay, okay, I get it.

He was a new man.  He knew when to reciprocate when it was expected of him.  Fair’s fair.

He stuck his tongue out and ran it along the hairless groove of her sex.  He used it to tease the swollen flanges of her labia.  He lifted his head up and kissed the opening to her sex.  His tongue slithered up and dabbed against her clitoral hood.

Any doubts on whether she liked that were answered swiftly as her body stiffened in pleasure and she clamped his head between her thighs.

“Oh yes,” she sighed.

She blew a stream of warm air that tickled over his penis.  After blowing a big load into her bubblegum blowjob Jackson thought that was it from his trouser department.  Apparently his second head had other ideas.  It twitched and started to mushroom upwards in an erection.

Jackson delved deeper into the moist crack of her vagina, his tongue wriggling and lapping.  She tasted like sweet bubblegum.  He supposed that shouldn’t have surprised him too much.

Then it was his turn to stiffen in pleasure as Bab blew another bubble that enveloped his cock and bobbed against his balls.  She puffed her cheeks and the warm elastic membrane throbbed pleasantly around his penis.  Jackson’s semi turned into full and throbbing in a matter of moments as blood flowed to his crotch with a speed that left him feeling a little dizzy.

Jackson sighed into her pussy.  Wanting to keep pace, he probed and licked with his tongue, causing shudders to run through her body.

A bead of pre-cum dribbled from the tip of his penis.  It melted through the bubble membrane and then his whole cock was inside.  He felt her warm breath tickle against his exposed skin and cascade down the shaft.  The interior of the bubble was hot and humid.  It felt like a sauna just for his penis.

He shivered with pleasure as he felt her exposed lips kiss the swollen helmet of his erection.  She pursed them and blew a little bubble that enclosed his glans before popping.  The pop sent a shot of pleasure down Jackson’s shaft that ricocheted through his body.  It was the first of many and he writhed uncontrollably beneath her as each pleasurable burst rattled through him.

Jackson redoubled his efforts with his tongue.  Let’s see if I can make you come first, he thought.

He didn’t fancy his chances considering Bab appeared to know some kind of leet bubblegum-fu sex art, and was applying it mercilessly to his defenceless cock.  He pushed his face up into her groin and probed deeper with his tongue.  Bab’s body tensed as though she was on the brink of orgasm.


Her body relaxed.  Her pussy dilated and a pink stretchy membrane ballooned out into his face.  Tasted like bubblegum too, he thought.  It didn’t dissolve or break like bubblegum, though.  The membrane was far thicker.

That was the rational part of his brain.  The other part was screaming: She can blow bubbles out of there!

He knew it was wacky videogame physics where anything could happen, but really.

The bubble expanded out into his face like an airbag made out of soft latex.  The stretchy membrane clung tightly to his face.

That was when he noticed he couldn’t breathe.

Suffocated by a bubble blown out of a dragon girl’s vagina would have sounded comical had he not been the one currently struggling to pull air into his burning lungs.  The sticky membrane covered his mouth and nose.  His nostrils were filled with the sweet scent of bubblegum and the musky odour of sex, but no air.

Bab giggled as she bounced on the bubble.  It was as if she was sitting on his face, but he didn’t get a respite—or air—whenever she lifted her hips for another bounce.  The cloying sweet membrane covered his air passages as thoroughly as if she’d put a plastic bag over his face.  He squirmed and bucked in a fruitless attempt to find oxygen.

Bab blew another bubble around his cock.  This one was warm, and moist.  It rolled down his shaft and it felt like he was pushing up into a tight vagina with soft, fleshy walls.  To his oxygen-deprived brain it felt like there were two girls—one riding his cock, the other his face.

Her cheeks moved in and out as she alternated between sucking and blowing.  The bubble enveloping his penis squeezed and squished against him.  Jackson tensed up as a familiar precursor to release thrummed through his nerves.  He passed out at the same time his hips bucked upwards and he erupted within the pulsing bubble.

He opened his eyes to the sight of Bab noisily sucking the remainder of the deflated gum off his cock.  She looked up and smiled at him with bright green eyes.

“That was a big one,” she said while chewing on the gum.  “Men always put out a lot when their breath is taken away.  I wonder why that is.”

“You nearly killed me,” Jackson complained.

Bab shook her head.  “In this game universe you’re subject to the same rules as any other avatar.  You can’t ‘die’ while you still have lives and credits remaining.”

She closed her eyes and savoured the gum like a food critic at their favourite five-star restaurant.

“Mmm, you really are tasty,” she said.  “It’s because you’re real rather than virtual.  Really magnifies the flavour.”

“So they keep saying,” Jackson said sardonically.

“You should be careful,” Bab said.  “If the other girls find out they might be tempted to carry you off and keep you forever.”

“What is it with all the sperm-sucking anyway?” Jackson asked.  “I thought you were a dragon, not a succubus.”

Bab shifted position on top of him, turning around until her head was level with his.

“And how come all the succubus-type monsters seem to know this is a computer game?” he continued.

Bab ignored him.  She lowered her face until her nose brushed against his.  There was a big smile on her lips and her big green eyes sparkled with mischief.

“Fancy a bubblegum fuck?” she asked.

to be continued...

Saturday, April 13, 2013

Jackson in HRPG-World: 4-6 Bubble Bother

Time to get a little XXX-rated.  Also, if anyone was wondering what was happening to a certain errant warlock, "Succubus Summoning 205" is now up on

Jackson in HRPG-World: 4-6 Bubble Bother

Bab snapped gum between her full lips.  She looked up at him with her deep green eyes.

“Have you ever had a bubblegum blowjob?” she asked.

“Um no,” Jackson said.  “What’s one of them?”  That particular sex act was outside his sphere of sexual experience.

Bab blew a bright pink bubble about the size of a grapefruit.  The sticky gum membrane enfolded the swollen tip of his cock and then rolled down the shaft.  Jackson looked down and saw his member vanish inside the bubble until it was a vague dark blur at the heart of a translucent pink sphere.  This time the bubble membrane held.  He felt it clinging to the outside of his penis as the bubble expanded around it.  It felt pretty good—like he’d just entered a snug pussy barely large enough to contain him.

Given the choice he’d rather have put his hard-on in her mouth or vagina (or even ass).  As weird as it looked, the bubble wasn’t a bad substitute, though.

Bab looked up at him.  Sexual desire glimmered in her big moist eyes.  She had quills instead of hair, but with eyes like that Jackson didn’t really care.  She bobbed her head back and forth, bouncing the pink and surprisingly durable bubble against his groin.

Oh.  Okay.  That was a pretty damn good substitute for a pussy, Jackson thought.

As she bobbed the membrane peeled back from the root of his cock and then rolled back down to envelop his whole length.  The bubble flattened and the pressure was like a gentle squeeze around his cock.  It felt like he was plunging his cock into something soft, yielding and sensual.

Bab puffed her cheeks and blew.  She played the bubble like a musical instrument.  The notes were little pulses of bliss she blew into Jackson’s body.  He rocked unsteadily on wobbly knees.

The dragon girl moved her hands to his buttocks.  Her fingers dug into his soft cheeks and encouraged him to thrust faster and stronger.  Jackson wouldn’t have done this normally.  He’d be too frightened of choking the girl and causing her to gag on his cock.  This wasn’t a concern with the bubble forming a flexible cushion between them.  The tip of his cock could just about reach the open ring of her mouth and that was it.  Bab kissed him through the membrane and blew more bubble into his lap.

Jackson felt like he was balls deep in something moist and soft, a sensation reinforced by the elastic membrane pressing up against and partially enfolding his scrotum.  Bab’s hand slid down between his legs.  Her nails tickled against first his anus before dancing down to whisper through the hairs on the underside of his testicles.

Her ministrations caused Jackson to press forwards until the bubble was squashed between them and her lips formed a ring around the tip of his cock.  She placed her other hand against the side of the bubble and raised a long, wickedly pointed nail.

The nail came down and the bubble popped with a whoosh.

Jackson felt like he’d done the same.  His hips jerked forwards and semen erupted from his cock as if tethered to turbo-charged rocket.  Whoosh seemed the right word.  His cum flooded out and was soaked up by the pink gum of the collapsing bubble.  Bab sucked it all back into her mouth and made little sounds of appreciation as she chewed on the gum.

“I knew you’d taste delicious,” she said.  She looked up at him with big green eyes and smiled as she savoured the gum.

Jackson rocked on his feet.  His nerves were still jangling.  That was quite some trick she’d pulled off with the bubblegum.  And quite some ejaculation.  Taken a bit out of him, he thought as he huffed for breath.

“You look a little unsteady there,” Bab said.  “Here, let me help out.”

Her head ducked back down.  Lower this time.  He heard her blowing and realised she was blowing up another bubble.  His cock, remembering the last bubble she’d blown and the feel of it, twitched eagerly.  Jackson didn’t feel sticky gum against his crotch this time.  Bab was much lower—between his legs.  He looked over his shoulder and saw a shiny purple balloon expanding behind him.  It was almost as big as the bubble that had enveloped him and carried him up to the bedroom earlier.

He turned around to see Bab standing in front of him.  She put a hand on his chest and shoved.

“Put your feet up,” she said as he fell back into the giant bubble.

The membranous surface gave and deformed as Jackson’s weight fell into it.  This bubble was less firm.  It sagged into a loose toroid shape with Jackson in the centre.  It supported his weight like a beanbag, but bouncier.

The bounce became more pronounced as, giggling, Bab dived in on top of him.  She snuggled up next to him, stared at him with her big green eyes and smiled coquettishly.

“I love fooling around on one of these things,” she said.

“I’m a little confused,” Jackson said.  “What has all this to do with a platform game?”

“It’s the hero’s reward,” Bab said, “for rescuing the princess.”  She kissed him on the cheek.

“Call me suspicious, but I don’t remember any end-of-game scene where the grateful princess rewards the hero with hardcore sex acts.”

Bab started moving around on the bubble, causing it to sway up and down.  She climbed over Jackson’s body, turning around to face his feet.

“And how would you know, did you complete any of them?”

Of course he hadn’t.  They were too bloody hard.  Game developers were sadists back in those days.

“Thought not,” Bab continued, taking his silence for a negative.  “They could have ended in a full harem orgy, with gorgeous dusky maidens performing every sex act imaginable on the triumphant hero for all you knew.”

Jackson’s dick gave a little twitch at ‘every sex act imaginable’.  It didn’t escape Bab’s notice.

Just as it hadn’t escaped Jackson’s notice that Bab’s knees were pressed down on the bubble on either side of his head and he had a close-up view of the neat, hairless folds of her sex positioned right over his face.

“I would have heard about it,” he said.  “The moral nutters would have totally lost their shit for starters.  They went berserk over that Easter egg in GTA, and it wasn’t even in the game.”

“Shh,” Bab said.  “It’s your turn.”

She wiggled her crotch in his face to indicate what she meant by ‘his turn’.

“Now put that tongue out and give my pussy a good licking.  If you’re good I’ll reward you with some bubblegum 69.”

She smiled back at him and blew a little pink bubble before snapping the gum back into her mouth.  Jackson’s cock twitched at the sound.

to be continued...

Saturday, April 06, 2013

Jackson in HRPG-World: 4-5 Bubble Bother

Bab leads floats Jackson up to her bedroom for a little foreplay.

Jackson in HRPG-World: 4-5 Bubble Bother

He pushed ineffectually at the elastic walls.  Through the translucent membrane he saw Bab looking up at him with an impish smile on her full lips.

You really walked into this one, Jackson thought.

The bubble continued to float up higher.  Jackson’s options at this point were rather limited, imprisoned as he was within the sphere.  A hamster in one of those plastic balls could at least pick a direction to run in.  All Jackson could do was push his hands out against the rubbery membrane like a convict clutching bars.

Bab gave him a little wave and walked back up the curved staircase.  Jackson floated up with her on the other side of the room.  The bubble followed a preset path and rose up past a balcony and into what looked like a sumptuous bedchamber.  Really fancy.  Like something out of a period drama—all frills and elegant furnishings.

Apart from the arcade cabinet standing against a wall with its electronic guts strewn out of one of the side panels.  That didn’t belong at all.  Naked girls with scales, wings and a tail were not exactly a regular sight in Downton Abbey either.

Bab sat a fancy white Regency table and nonchalantly filed a nail.  Or rather claw.  She held up a stiletto-tipped finger and blew on the nail.  If this had been a cartoon Jackson suspected there’d have been an exaggerated glint of light to emphasise the pointyness.  Bab looked over her shoulder at him and smiled.

Jackson didn’t like that smile at all.

He struggled in another ineffectual attempt to burst out of the bubble.  It drifted slowly across the bedroom, about five or six feet off the ground.  Bab stood up and walked over to meet the bubble in the centre of the room.  Still smiling that impish smile, she held up a single pointed fingernail and let the bubble drift into it.

The bubble popped.

Jackson somersaulted out of the popped bubble as if flung by catapult.  The world shifted again, only this time it felt like he’d had lost a dimension rather than the world around him.  He felt like he was a paper cut-out.  And blue, oddly.  Blue like a cartoon character coming out of a frozen lake, although he didn’t feel any cold.

He ricocheted off the walls and ceiling.  Bab tracked his progress as he bounced around the room.  She bent down and blew another bubble, orange this time.  Jackson’s spinning form fell into the bubble and it flattened out like one of those airbags movie stuntmen dive off buildings into.

Ugh.  Jackson felt proper sick.  He felt like he’d experienced every ride at Alton Towers simultaneously.  His stomach was not in a happy place.

It wasn’t the only part of him struggling.  He lifted up his arms and saw he was flickering in and out of existence like a hologram with a faulty battery.


Bab’s smiling face and expressive wide eyes appeared over the side of airbag bubble.

Even more worrying.

She reached over and buried a claw-tipped hand right into his flickering chest.

Let’s just say the mercury had burst right out of the top of the worry thermometer on that one.

There wasn’t any pain, which was really surprising as her hand had vanished up to past the wrist and was rummaging around inside his rib cage.  Jackson was fairly sure that should at least sting, but he couldn’t feel a thing.  Bab continued to grope around as if rooting for treasure.

And treasure she found.  Jackson’s eyes widened as she pulled a handful of gold coins out of his chest.  Where the hell had they come from?

Bab’s green eyes lit up.  “Ooh, that should keep us going for a while,” she said.

Jackson didn’t really catch that.  He was currently stuck in a full-on weirdilepsy fit.  The picture had gone wrong, as if all the colour had drained out of the world to be replaced with shades of black and white.  The sound was fucked up too, like he was hearing everything through ears filled with cotton wool.

Bab walked over to the ancient arcade machine that looked completely out of place amongst the opulent furnishings.  Jackson heard electronic bleeps as Bab fed the coins into the machine.

“I hacked the game,” Bab called back at him.  “I was fed up of men flickering out and vanishing the moment they lost their last life.  It was annoying.  To get all hot and wet and then, poof, they’re gone.  So...”

She stabbed down on a button.  The machine burbled out an electronic jingle.

“...I added a continue option.”  Smiling ear to ear, she looked back at Jackson.

The queasy insubstantial feeling left him.  Jackson held up his arm and saw it was solid again.  His vision and hearing returned to normal, well normal for being trapped in a virtual world made out of pixels.  He struggled out of the deflating orange airbag and stood back up.

Bab dropped some leftover coins onto a table next to the arcade machine.  She crouched down around the other side and plugged something in.  Then she retrieved a piece of bubblegum from the bowl on the table, undid the wrapper and popped it into her mouth.  She chewed on the gum and blew out a pink bubble.  A normal-sized one this time, not like the weather-balloon-sized one that had swallowed up Jackson before.  She ran a hand over the pink surface as if lightly caressing a breast.

“Hmm, yes,” she said after sucking the gum back into her mouth.  “I think you’ll like how that feels.”

Jackson was wondering why he wasn’t already halfway down the stairs behind him.  He suspected it had something to do with her naked breasts.

And a certain ‘quick screw’ comment.

“I’ve been looking forward to this for a while,” Bab said.  “Not many gamers frequent these parts nowadays and the ones that do are a little...well...beardy.”


“Old and nerdy,” Bab elaborated.  “Oh, they’re sweet enough, but they don’t really get a girl’s motor purring, if you know what I mean.”

Jackson did.  Bab’s expression was positively filthy.

Bab walked around him, looking up and down his naked body.  He knew he’d been doing exactly the same a few moments ago, but he hadn’t been so gratuitous about it.

“And I do?”  he said.

If Jackson had a body that ‘got a girl’s motor purring’, it was the first he’d heard of it.  College and university would have gone a lot easier with this knowledge.

“Of course,” Bab said.  “You’re real.  Flesh.  That’s incredibly rare in here.”

Uh-oh.  Things usually turned very bad when game characters noticed that.

“Oh, is that the time?  I really must be—”

Bab crouched down in front of him and grabbed his cock.

That was stepping backwards out.  Not unless he wanted to leave his dick behind, and that wasn’t an option as far as Jackson was concerned.

Bab snapped gum between her full lips.  She looked up at him with her deep green eyes.

“Have you ever had a bubblegum blowjob?” she asked.

to be continued...

Saturday, March 30, 2013

Jackson in HRPG-World: 4-4 Bubble Bother

Jackson meets the dragon.  The scenario does not go as expected...

Jackson in HRPG-World: 4-4 Bubble Bother

"There you are," a feminine voice called out.

Jackson turned around.

He'd found the dragon.

The dragon was not the dinosaur-proportioned fire-breathing monster he expected.  She was a hottie of a different kind.  He watched her descend a curved staircase at the far end of the room.  She was naked and actually kind of fit.  Well, if you ignored the scales...and the thick tail...and the leathery wings folded behind her back...or the long quills she had instead of hair.

To be honest, Jackson thought, she was a bit of a babe even with those.  It was the face.  Aside from a few scales and the hair that wasn’t actually hair, you could almost trick yourself into thinking she was human.  A very cute human, even if her pink skin tended more to lilac than fleshy tones.  The vivid skin tone only added to her exoticism.

Nice pair of boobs as well.  Big, round, totally naked...not really a surprise they caught his eye.  It was her face that held his attention, though.  She had big bright eyes and a wide, expressive smile.  It was the face of a girl that was both beautiful and fun to be with.  Jackson could really fancy a girl with a face like that.

Which made it all the more soul-crushing she was obviously the dragon.

"I've come to rescue the...princess."  Jackson tailed off.  An uncomfortable suspicion was settling in his gut like a bad balti.

“Oh, that’s so sweet,” the naked dragon girl said.  “You battled all the way up here for that.  I don’t really need the help,” she partially extended her wings to show the top of a mountain didn’t exactly qualify as a prison for her, “but the thought is very touching.”

"You're the princess," he said.

The dragon girl nodded, a wide smile on her full lips.

"Princess Babelixiafukiona the forty-eighth.  Seventh in line to the throne of Tay-e-tow."

That suspicion slithering through his guts had been proved right.  Dragon royalty.  What was he supposed to do now—bow to her or slay her?  Slaying might be problem, he thought, looking down at the jagged half-inch of metal sticking out of the hilt that was all that remained of his sword.

“But I’d prefer it if you called me Bab.  Much less formal.”

As was her smile.  And the glint in her eyes as she looked at him.  He didn’t think the shiny spanner twirling around in her left hand was part of the standard distressed damsel wardrobe either.

“Ian,” he replied.  Dragon royalty, would you effing Adam and Eve it.  “I’m a little confused.  The villagers told me there was a princess needing rescuing from a dragon.”

“Oh, I told them to say that,” Bab said.  “Well, ordered really, on pain of crispy-fried barbequed death.

“I didn’t mean it!” she added, seeing Jackson’s shocked expression.  “You know how it is.  Good folk, but not the sharpest knives in the drawer.  They need focus.”

“Why tell them that at all?” Jackson asked.

It was Bab’s turn to grimace.  She sighed.

“Stupid family tradition,” she said.  “We’re not morons like you humans.  We don’t force royal blood to marry royal blood until everyone’s everybody else’s second cousin and the blood is as thin as peasant’s broth.  That’s not the way to maintain a royal line.  Good blood needs fresh infusions of prime genetic stock and what better source than heroes.  Strong, quick, clever, resourceful heroes.

“This,” her hand swung around to encompass the room and the hundred levels below them, “is tradition for the womenfolk of the Mitsuji-Doraga line.  We build a dungeon and mate with the heroes strong enough to make it through to the end.  That’s the path to strong hatchlings, as my mama used to say.”

“This is dragon dating?”  It sounded so crazy it was probably true.

Bab nodded and smiled.

“Well it used to be,” she said.  “None of you idiots play this type of game anymore.  Whatever happened to patience and backbone?  Lose a couple of credits and most of you are gone in a huff before even getting as far as the twelfth level.”

She twirled the spanner around in her hand.

“Maybe it’s my own fault.  Mama did say I was too smart for my own good.  And designing and building these things can get a little addictive.  I must have ramped the difficulty up too high.”

“That’s why the umbrella,” Jackson said.  His ‘heroism’ didn’t seem quite so heroic now.

“It gets lonely up here,” Bab said.  “Sometimes a girl fancies a quick screw.”

Quick screw?  Had he heard that right?

“But with protection.”  Bab held up a finger.  “You’re not a suitable mate.  You failed to spot the significance of the bubblegum at the base of the tower.”


“A pity.  I think you’d look cute in scales.”

Jackson didn’t have a clue what she was talking about.  To be fair, he was still thinking about that ‘quick screw’ comment.

“So you mean, you...and me?”  He pushed a finger through the hoop of his forefinger and thumb for emphasis.

Could he?  Even with the scales, wings and tail?

Bab smiled coquettishly.  Her eyelids fluttered.  She uncrossed her legs, better exposing the hairless folds of her sex.

Fuck it.  She had a really cute face.

And breasts as big as ripe melons.

The girl not being human hadn’t stopped him before.  Admittedly, those had been situations where the girl hadn’t taken ‘no’ for an answer, or let him run away.

At least Bab was different.  She hadn’t tried to beat him up first.

Jackson beamed at her.  He dropped his trousers and took off his tunic.  Naked, he took a step towards her.

“Oh,” Bab said.  “We have to fight first.”

Jackson’s smile fell off his face and shattered on the floor.

“Really?  Why?”

Bab gave him an apologetic smile.  “Rules of the game universe.  If we don’t the game might crash.”

Jackson sighed.  “Does it have to be a proper ‘fight’ fight,” he said.  “What if I just tap you and you fall over and pretend it’s a mortal wound?  Would that fool the game?”

Bab tilted her head.  Her bright eyes sparkled.  “Ooh, that’s a good idea.  Yes, that might work.”

“Okay, let’s give it a go,” Jackson said.  He ambled up to her.  A gentle prod to the shoulder should do it.

Bab blew a big red bubble from her mouth.  More bubblegum?  Jackson expected it to pop, but it kept growing and growing.  Before he had a chance to move it expanded into him like a stretchy airbag.  The bubble kept growing and then Jackson was inside it.  He wasn’t sure how that happened.  One moment he’d felt an elastic membrane pushing against the front of his body, and then the next it had melted around him and Jackson was standing inside a giant circular balloon.  His weight provided no impediment as the elastic sphere floated up into the air with him inside it.

He pushed ineffectually at the elastic walls.  Through the translucent membrane he saw Bab looking up at him with an impish smile on her full lips.

You really walked into this one, Jackson thought.

to be continued...

Saturday, March 23, 2013

Jackson in HRPG-World: 4-3 Bubble Bother

See, I said I wasn't done with him yet...

Jackson in HRPG-World: 4-3 Bubble Bother

Jackson dropped down on top of the marching head.  The clockwork head did not squish.  Instead Jackson's foot slipped out sideways, twisting his ankle.  He fell off and landed in an ungainly heap right in front of the advancing clockwork metal head.  It did not stop.  Heavy metal feet crunched down on Jackson, first breaking his legs, then crushing his vertebrae to powder, before finally shattering his skull like an egg.

It was as painful as it sounded.

* * * *

The unseen figure slapped a scaly hand against its forehead.

"Oh my, you really are stupid," it said.  "Looks like you're going to need some help."

It rummaged through a collection of items in a bowl on the table to the right of the cabinet and plucked out a small cross made out of bright red metal.  It pulled out a tray beneath the screen and dropped the cross inside.

* * * *

Jackson had just rematerialized back at the starting point, thankfully with his bones fully intact, when an object appeared in the air above him and bonked him on the top of his head.


He looked down and picked up a metal gothic cross about a foot high.  The metal was black everywhere apart from the edges, where the cross appeared to be picked out with a flame-red outline.  Jackson wondered what he was supposed to do with it.

Oh crap, one of those clanking clockwork heads was already bearing down on him.  More in hope than anything, he thrust out the cross as if warding off a vampire.

A fireball erupted from the centre of the cross and blasted the oncoming head into a shower of bolts, springs and shards of twisted metal.  They faded away leaving behind a ruby as big as Jackson's fist.


The jewel was a piece of abstract treasure.  Jackson couldn't even pick it up.  The moment he reached down, the giant ruby vanished and 700 floated up from where it had been.  A bonus to his score, although he had no idea what that score represented in real terms.

The other two heads dropped down from the level above.  Jackson pointed the metal cross at them and blasted them into glowing shards.

All right!

Following a pause after the last monster had faded away, Jackson was hit by a sudden bout of disorientation.  It felt like he had been snipped out of the world.  The room fell away like the turn of a fruit machine reel while Jackson stayed in place.  Another room moved down to take its place.  Jackson saw a pyramid structure with four of the clockwork metal heads sitting at the top.  And then he was in the room and the clanking monsters were marching down towards him.

Jackson lifted up the cross and blasted them into showers of cogs and springs.

He did the same for the next three levels and was beginning to think the game might be a little too easy when the cross suddenly crumbled away in his hand.

Oh shit.  What now, Jackson thought as he was forced to take hasty evasive action.

* * * *

The unseen onlooker watched Jackson's antics on screen with mounting irritation.

"Okay, that's enough.  I'm not watching you fumble your way through another ninety-five levels.  It's been too fucking long."

They reached into the bowl sitting next to the cabinet and pulled out a vividly patterned umbrella.  It was about the same size as a cocktail umbrella, but far more detailed, like a doll's house miniature.  They opened the tray and dropped it in.

* * * *

Jackson saw an umbrella appear on the top platform.

An umbrella?  What kind of a weapon was that?

He wouldn’t have expected a cross to spit out fireballs either.

He jumped up and put his hand around the handle of the umbrella.  The umbrella opened and the world froze.  He felt that strange dislocation again as if he’d been snipped out of reality.  The room fell away and was replaced by another.  Jackson saw a new type of monster, creepy little hooded spooks, had joined the clockwork heads.  He didn't get a chance to observe them for long.  He'd barely stepped back into the game before he was plucked out again and the world was moving up to the next level.

This happened for the next level, and the one after.

The umbrella was a shortcut, he realised, a level skip.  But how many?  Ten rooms went by, twenty, fifty...  He was halfway up the tower now, floating up on the open umbrella like a regular Mary Poppins.  Floating wasn't the right word.  All his senses told him he was stationary and it was the world around him that was moving.


Was he supposed to let go or something?  What kind of game dropped a bonus that skipped the entire game?  It didn't make any sense.

It was what happened.  The world finally stopped moving as the umbrella deposited him in a much larger room near the top of the tower.  His feet touched the ground and the umbrella closed before vanishing with a poof.

Jackson glanced around.  The third dimension had returned; he was standing in a room rather than a rectangle.  What type of room though?  Judging from the walls and fittings it looked like a fancy waiting room in a posh mansion or palace.  At least originally.  Now it more resembled a workshop.  The centre of the room was turned over to a large workbench covered in wires, springs, nuts, bolts, cogs, metal plates...

Jackson jumped as he saw another of the clockwork heads.  He needn't have worried.  The thing was upside down and inert.  Its jaw had been removed.  Lying on the floor next to it was a large ball of purple fur with a wide mouth and blank eyes.  It was inert too.  A hatch was opened up in the top of its head and wires trailed out to dangling green circuit boards.  Overall, it looked like someone had taken a sumptuous palace lounge and turned it into a grease monkey's paradise.

"There you are," a feminine voice called out.

Jackson turned around.

He'd found the dragon.

to be continued...

Saturday, March 16, 2013

Jackson in HRPG-World: 4-2 Bubble Bother

Oh great, Jackson thought as he stepped through the vagina-shaped opening and into the mountain, more of the stupid organ-grinder music playing in the background.  Another damn earworm that was going to be stuck in his head for the next week.  Other games had moved on to atmospheric doom chords and blasts of heavy metal.  JRPGs were still stuck in the land of rainbows and unicorn farts.

And whoa.

Okay, so that was impressive.  The mountain was hollow inside.  A cross section was revealed to him like the glass wall of an ant farm.  Or termite farm, he supposed, given the shape of the mountain.  It was a complex mass of scaffolding arranged in a stack of blocky rooms that extended up the inside of the mountain.  They went up a long way, too far for Jackson to see the top.  Each ‘room’ was illuminated with different coloured lamps.  They all teemed with monsters.

Fuck.  That was a shit load of levels, Jackson thought.  Do not be another fucking Blighttown.  Once through there was enough.

He spotted a stone archway at the base of the tower.  Looked as good an entrance as any, he thought, walking towards it.  To the right of the archway was a small pedestal.  Sitting on top, under a glass dome, was a giant bubblegum sweet in a garish, stripy wrapper.  On top of the dome was a folded note with the words ‘Eat Me’ written on it in large letters.

Yeah right, did they really think he was that gullible? Jackson thought.

He ignored it and walked through the stone archway.  There followed a strange feeling of dislocation, as if the universe had been turned sideways and passed through a funhouse mirror.  The world on the other side looked different.  Jackson thought one of his eyes might be playing up, but a hand over each revealed both were working fine.

Which was more than could be said for the world around him.  Three slabs of coloured concrete floated in the centre of the room.  They formed three floors, each separated by a height of around seven feet.  Nothing appeared to be holding them in place.  Or maybe they were attached to the back...side wall.  Jackson shook his head in an attempt to fix his screwed up vision.  Nothing appeared to have any width.  Not even the outcroppings above his head.  There were three of them, all on the same level as the platforms in the centre of the room.  That Jackson could currently see all three of them despite standing under the lower one said a lot for how the perspectives were all fucked up in here.

A trapdoor in the far ceiling opened and three unusual monsters dropped onto the top platform and started running towards him.  They looked like giant wind-up toys—nothing more than metal heads on oversize clown feet.  They had a chin a boxer would be proud of and their metallic jaws clanked up and down as they marched across the top platform.

Typical JRPG, Jackson thought.  Commonplace orcs and goblins were clearly too passé.  Let’s throw cutesy giant clockwork robot heads at the player instead.  They even had bow-shaped keys turning in their sides as they walked.

The lead monster dropped down off the top platform and landed on the same level as Jackson.  Despite a three-floor fall the thing didn’t break apart or—more likely given it seemed to be made out of solid metal—bust a hole through the floor.  It landed smoothly on the floor and continued marching towards Jackson.

Okay, come and get it, Jackson said, drawing his sword.  He took up a fighting stance and waited for the battle music to announce the beginning of turn-based combat.

The lead clockwork head didn't instigate turn-base combat.  It carried on marching forward and trampled Jackson into the floor.  Then it rebounded off the far wall and trampled him again on the way back.

* * * *

Far above, the unseen figure watched events on a dusty screen.  It watched Jackson get trampled into the floor and let off an imaginative and probably anatomically impossible curse.

"Do they always have to be so stupid?"

* * * *

Jackson stood back up.

Okay, so this game was a little more active in the combat department than the other games.  There wasn't much time to think about it as the third one was already right on top of him.

Jackson swung his sword at it, which was obviously really stupid in hindsight—what was a sword going to do against a giant metal head?  Or would have been stupid had the sword not passed straight through it.  Jackson was still pondering that oddity when the clockwork head marched through him and he didn't feel a thing.

Like it was a ghost or hologram, Jackson thought.

No, he was the ghost, he realised.  He looked at his arms and saw they were flickering.

The third clockwork head rebounded off the back wall and marched back through Jackson's flickering form.  He stopped flickering after the thing had passed and watched the clanking metal head walk away from him.

Solid now and the thing had its back to him.  Jackson looked at his sword.

Fuck honour and fair play and all of that shit.

He charged forwards and swung the sword down with all his strength.  It rebounded off the metal head with bone-jarring force.  The blade broke off, leaving Jackson with a hilt and about half an inch of broken blade.

Well, d'uh.  What did you expect was going to happen?

And now the first one was coming back for him.  Jackson panicked and jumped upwards, hoping to maybe catch hold of the ledge above him.  He was surprised when his jump catapulted him far higher than he expected.  Crap, he was going to bang his head on the platform above.

It didn't happen.  Somehow he passed straight by it.  And then landed perfectly on it as he came back down.  Which made absolutely no topological sense at all.


He bent his knees and jumped again.  It was like being on the moon.  He sprang upwards through the second platform, which mysteriously returned to being solid the moment he came back down to land on it.

Of course.  It made sense now.  No wonder all the perspectives seemed screwed up, like the world had lost a dimension.  He was such a moron.

This wasn't a RPG; it was an old arcade-style 2D platformer.

Jackson hated old arcade-style 2D platformers.

He looked down and watched the clockwork head crouch and then jump up to the level below him.  He ran to the end of the outcropping and bounded across to the central platform.  The monsters followed him.

It had been years since he'd played a game like this.  How did they work again?

Jackson watched one of the clockwork heads pass by on the lowest level.

Oh yeah, that was right.  You had to jump on top of them.  He waited for the monster to rebound off the far wall and come back.


Jackson dropped down on top of the marching head.  The clockwork head did not squish.  Instead Jackson's foot slipped out sideways, twisting his ankle.  He fell off and landed in an ungainly heap right in front of the advancing clockwork metal head.  It did not stop.  Heavy metal feet crunched down on Jackson, first breaking his legs, then crushing his vertebrae to powder, before finally shattering his skull like an egg.

It was as painful as it sounded.

to be continued...

Ouch.  Don't worry, he'll be okay.  I think...

Saturday, March 09, 2013

Jackson in HRPG-World: 4-1 Bubble Bother

Time to continue Jackson's (mis)adventures.  I'm going old skool for the inspirations this time.  And hoping this section doesn't balloon out of control like the last one.

Jackson in HRPG-World: 4-1 Bubble Bother

“You need to go to the Mountain of Monsters.  The princess is being held on the hundredth floor by a...”  The barkeep paused for dramatic effect.  “...dragon.”

“A dragon, huh?” Ian Jackson said.

The barkeep nodded, his expression grave.

He must have fallen into a really old game, Jackson thought.  Everything around him seemed a little blocky, as if the resolution had been turned down low.  It was too bright and colourful.  He was standing in what should be a dingy pub and it was so bright he practically needed shades.  No realism at all.

Which was to be expected, given that this was a computer game and all that.  Jackson couldn’t remember how it had happened, but he’d been sucked into his computer.  Now he was trapped, forced to play out one random game after another in a futile hope of finding the exit to the real world.

If Jeff Bridges showed up he was so bottling that fucker.

“You’d think they’d come up with something more original,” Jackson said.

The barkeep stared at him and blinked round, owlish eyes as he took a sip of his beer.  He immediately regretted it.  Whatever was in the mug wasn’t beer, or even vaguely alcoholic.  It tasted like someone had melted a toffee apple into a glass and thrown in a few spoonfuls of sugar for good measure.

“I mean, dragon.  Come on,” Jackson said.

“It is a fearsome beast,” the barkeep said.

“I don’t doubt it is,” Jackson said.  “At least until it comes back later in the game with a dye job and new role of generic wandering mook.”

The barkeep looked at him blankly.

It did seem a little early to throw a dragon at him.  He’d only just arrived in this game world.  Big critters like dragons didn’t normally show up until later.  That was assuming this was an RPG.  The game did seem a little primitive.

Slay the dragon, rescue the princess.  Maybe that was the whole game.

“So this princess, where is she princess of?” Jackson asked.

The barkeep looked at him blankly.

“I mean she has to be princess of somewhere.”

The barkeep blinked.  He said nothing.

“Country?” Jackson asked.  “Which country is she princess of?  Who’s the king...queen?  Where’s their palace?”

“She is a princess,” the barkeep stated as if that was answer enough.

And it probably was.  The princess might as well have been an inanimate chest of treasure for all the difference she made to the plot.

“Okay, so where is this...” he sighed, “...Mountain of Monsters.”

“It’s right outside the village,” the barkeep said, clearly happy to be on more familiar ground.  “To the south.”

Yeah, right, because when settling a new village the perfect place to locate it was right next to somewhere called the ‘Mountain of Monsters’, Jackson thought as he left the sorry collection of huts behind.

Hi, welcome to the village of Dullasshit.  To the north, east and west are miles of lovely rolling countryside.  To the south is the Mountain of Monsters, complete with terrifying fire-breathing dragon.

It was not like they’d bothered to put any distance between them and the mountain either.  Straight out of the back gate and—wham!—there is was: ugly great spike rising up out of the ground like a rusty nail sticking out of a quilt.

What was it with the ludicrously overly dramatic names in these games anyway.  The Bridge of Stolen Sighs, the Mire of Misery, the Dark Forest of Doomy Doom...  Who came up with these names?  What was wrong with something simple like Firetop Mountain?

And what was the betting the entrance was a cave that looked like a giant mouth with two scary eyeholes above it.  Never any damn originality.  Slay the dragon.  Rescue the princess.  Enter the creepy cave that looked like a screaming mouth.  They could at least vary the orifice.  How about a cave entrance that looked like a nostril.  Or—if they were especially daring—a vagina.  Haha, a cave entrance that looked like a vagina, that would be sure to wind up the moral guardians.

He was smiling at that thought when something fell out of the sky and smashed into the ground a couple of metres away with a sound like shattering glass.  It was followed by a screaming person waving their arms in the desperate manner of someone hoping it would enable them to fly.  Jackson caught a glimpse of a rotund boy in Lederhosen before the falling figure hit the ground with a sickening thump.

What.  The.  Fuck.

Jackson saw right away there was nothing he could do.  The figure lay face down and unmoving.  A steady trickle of blood formed pools beneath shards of brightly coloured glass.  A rainbow, Jackson thought.  A glass rainbow and a fat kid had fallen out of the sky.

He looked up.  Nothing but blue skies and white fluffy clouds.  The poor kid really had fallen out of nowhere.

Jackson turned his gaze to the mountain.  There were objects floating around the fang-like peak.  They looked like large, brightly coloured balloons.

You’d better not go all Half-Life with some shitty platform levels near the top, Jackson thought.  He hated platform games.

He left the fallen boy and continued on.  The entrance was on the other side of the mountain.  It did not look like a giant screaming mouth with scary eyeholes.

Jackson paused in stunned surprise.  Then he laughed.

Damn thing looked like a giant stone vagina.

* * * *

An unseen figure brushed away the layer of dust covering the glass screen with a scaly hand.  Revealed beneath was the image of a tiny figure standing before a slit-like opening in the side of a mountain.  The unseen observer turned a dial on the side of the wooden cabinet.  The picture zoomed in until Jackson’s face expanded to fill the whole screen.

“Oh yes, you’ll do just fine.”

to be continued...