Late, but still going. We're into X-rated territory now, so if you ain't 18, now's the time to skedaddle.
DaBigBoom in HRPG-World 2-5: Exploding Kiwis in the Nether Regions.
DaBigBoom hit the ground at the feet of the succubus with a krump.
He didn’t explode.
This seemed to take everyone by surprise.
DaBigBoom awkwardly picked himself back up. The succubus floated in front of him. Her smile and the seductive gleam in her eyes—more lustful even than Fiore’s for her underage pin-up—had returned to her face.
“Um . . . hi,” DaBigBoom said.
“Hi,” the succubus replied. She pushed out her considerable chest.
Now what? DaBigBoom looked over to Pihanga. She was motioning Fiore to move towards a guard on the right-hand side of the bridge. She turned to DaBigBoom and pointed in the direction of the succubus.
DaBigBoom held up his child-sized bow. The stupid thing had snapped in half when he’d landed on it.
Pihanga didn’t care. She furiously jabbed her finger in the direction of the succubus. Her orders given she turned her attentions back to the guards still standing after she’d thrown KwinnyBomb at them.
DaBigBoom turned back to the succubus and gave an embarrassed shrug. She smiled and giggled. Her ample bosom jiggled with her laughter. She didn’t seem that bad, DaBigBoom thought.
“We could always just watch the others get on with it,” he suggested. “We don’t have to get involved.”
“I’m Fifi,” the succubus said. “Who might you be?”
“DaBigBoom,” DaBigBoom said, cursing the syllables as they slipped out of his mouth. “It’s not my real name,” he hastily added.
“Those jackets look uncomfortably hot,” Fifi said.
She stepped up to the edge of her square. DaBigBoom jolted backwards as he felt something pliant and flexible reach up between his legs. Her tail. Unlike Pihanga’s, the end of Fifi’s tail swelled out into a bulbous structure that resembled a jar. The end opened out into three flexible and triangular flanges.
“You’d be much more comfortable with less . . . covering,” Fifi said. The nuance didn’t escape DaBigBoom.
“It is a little hot,” he said. “What about you?”
“I’m extremely hot,” the succubus said.
DaBigBoom wasn’t about to argue with that.
Pink sparks crackled around the flanges of her tail. It started to glow like it was covered in St. Elmo’s fire.
Oh, she meant that kind of hot. DaBigBoom wasn’t sure he liked that kind of hot.
Fifi held her tail like a rifle with the bulbous tip pointing at DaBigBoom. A fleshy orifice yawned open at the end. The tail vibrated, the bulbous end swelled and it spat a glob of sparkling pink energy at DaBigBoom.
He was flung backwards by the impact.
Or would have been. Any backward motion would have sent him out of the square he was currently in and that didn’t appear to be allowed by the physics of the game world. Instead, he did a kind of cartoon back flip on the spot.
Once again DaBigBoom was lying on his back and watching numbers float up into the darkness. At least this time it was a small number—a solitary four. Was that all? He felt considerably more beat up than someone who’d only lost four hit points. He picked himself back up.
“Mmm,” Fifi said. She looked down his body and smiled appreciatively.
He looked down and saw why. His clothes were fried, at least the ones around his crotch. The front of his trousers and the underpants beneath were gone, as was most of the bottom of his plain T-shirt. His exposed skin was marred with little smudges of black ash. None of his three jackets had lost so much as a stitch.
“Um . . .” DaBigBoom said, realising he was showing his todger off to a girl, an extremely hot girl. He knew she was a devil and made out of pixels besides, but that didn’t stop his face flaring bright red in embarrassment.
“Tut tut,” Fifi said. “You should be more careful about exposing your weak point like that.”
Fifi did a graceful pirouette on the spot and boom-boomed a hip at him, revealing a luscious peach of an arse. DaBigBoom was so busy looking at it he didn’t notice her tail whip around and plunge into his crotch like a striking snake.
He doubled up. Not because she’d hit him with any force, but in the automatic male response to objects being flung at his unprotected goolies.
His evasion attempt failed. The slimy flanges of her tail left sticky trails across his skin. It was rooting around in his crotch for something.
“Where are you?” Fifi said.
The snuffling orifice at the end of her fleshy tail found the end of his cock.
“Ah, there you are,” Fifi said.
The bulbous tip of her tail expanded. The end of DaBigBoom’s penis was sucked into the moist orifice.
No, no, no! he thought with horror.
He tried to pull away, but her tail had already vacuum-sealed itself to his groin. Its fleshy flanges were stuck fast to his skin and his todger—his lovely todger!—was all the way inside the bulbous jar at the end of it.
Fifi giggled at his futile attempts to escape her tail. “I have you now.”
The bulbous end swelled up and down like bellows. DaBigBoom doubled up again, but this time it was from unexpected pleasure.
Huh, that felt . . . pretty good.
The inside of her tail was slimy, but it was the good kind of slimy—moist, warm, tight, soft. Back in the real world Jackson wasn’t exactly the most sociable, but he wasn’t a complete stranger to sex, although he’d never experienced it without a condom. Was this what unprotected sex felt like? Her soft fleshy walls and warm juices squished around his member.
The bulbous jar slowly pulsed. Blood raced to DaBigBoom’s groin and his hard-on expanded within her tail until it was pushing back at the fleshy tissue wrapped all around him.
Fifi gave her sexy arse a little wiggle. DaBigBoom heard a strange gurgling sound. He didn’t have to ponder it for long before the bulbous end of her tail swelled up and filled with a warm, silky liquid. The jar contracted and DaBigBoom gasped as he felt warm fluids rush back and forth around his shaft. Her soft flesh pressed up all around his cock and gave it a teasing little tug.
What the hell kind of attack was this? DaBigBoom looked at the sultry form of the succubus. He could understand horny and frustrated game artists sneaking in a bit of fetish-bait for the lulz, but this was way beyond that. It felt like she was blowing him with her tail and that kind of shit only happened in the cheap and nasty hentai games.
Fifi’s full lips parted in a sexy pout. Her heavy breasts had fallen out of her skimpy bra. Her left hand was already at her nipple and pawing her soft pink flesh. Her other hand was down between her legs and rubbing her pussy through the thin black material of her panties.
Okay, they were definitely no longer in a children’s game, or in any game that could be stocked in a normal high-street store.
What was it with this crazy fucked-up world?
Not that DaBigBoom was complaining. The inside of her tail felt fucking incredible around his cock.
Fifi’s cheeks reddened. She closed her eyes and gave a series of little sexy gasps. The bulbous organ at the end of her tail began to pulsate faster and faster.
DaBigBoom closed his eyes and gave a little moan of his own. Her tail pulsed and sucked on his cock. He didn’t know what she was doing in there, but he definitely didn’t want her to stop. Her slick walls rubbed up and down his shaft, sliding on a sensual layer of warm, silky liquid. Soft flesh contracted and gently pumped his swollen glans. Like a kiss.
Fifi’s gasps grew louder and came more frequently. The pulsations of her tail speeded up to match. DaBigBoom was no longer doubled up but instead bent back the other way, teetering on unsteady legs with his crotch thrust out before him while Fifi’s tail-full-of-every-known-hooker’s-trick continued to work over his helpless manhood.
“Yes, yes, yes!” she squealed in delight.
Oh fuck. DaBigBoom couldn’t hold on any longer. His hips jerked forwards, driving him deeper into the moist, sticky flesh of her pulsing tail pot. His erection swelled and he ejaculated a tension-flattening glob of spunk right into her tail.
Fifi gave a long, contented sigh. Her tail continued to move around DaBigBoom’s cock, the motions slower and more deliberate now. She sucked on his spurting penis, gulped down his ejaculate and kept sucking until DaBigBoom’s pipes were well and truly drained. Then her tail detached with a wet shlup.
DaBigBoom rocked on his feet. His knees, his whole body felt like a wobbly plate of jelly. A ghostly red heart blossomed in the air between them, before floating up into the darkness.
Aw, how sweet, DaBigBoom thought.
Then he noticed the number, forty-four, floating up from him.
Fuck, it had been an attack after all. It had bashed forty-four off his unknown number of hit points.
It was worse than that.
The same number, but in green rather than white, was floating above Fifi’s head.
Fuck, the cheeky minx had sucked forty-four points right out of him and added it to her own hit points.
More importantly, DaBigBoom wondered how the fuck he was supposed to defeat her if every attack restored that much of her health. His crappy little broken bow certainly wasn’t going to cut it.
“Delicious,” Fifi said, running a tongue around her sensual red lips. She opened her eyes. “Oh, you’re still alive. How wonderful.”
DaBigBoom suspected her happiness at his still being alive was because it meant she could attack him again rather than any concern for his wellbeing.
“Hmm, I wonder.”
Fifi pulled down and stepped out of her panties. The game had definitely swerved off into X-rated territory. The hairless folds of her pussy were clearly visible to DaBigBoom, and anyone else that happened to be looking.
“Did they tell you how these coloured squares work?”
Fifi motioned to the ground around them. Most of the ground was grey apart from some squares that glowed with red, blue, green or yellow light.
“Nope. It never came up,” DaBigBoom said.
“How silly.” Fifi tsked. “How can anyone plan strategy without accounting for the Terra effect squares. Oh well. You see, the different colours grant different abilities. Some are negative—they lower attack or inflict damage. Others have positive effects.”
Stepping elegantly on her stiletto high heels, Fifi walked around him until she was standing on the red square adjacent to his.
“Now this square grants me two additional attacks,” Fifi said. Her eyes gleamed with lust.
Uh oh, DaBigBoom thought.
“Mmm, and I have just the attack I’d like to triple up on,” Fifi said.
She reached in and pulled DaBigBoom right to the boundary between their squares, close enough for her to embrace him if she wished.
DaBigBoom hoped his remaining life points were considerably higher than forty-four.
to be continued next week . . .