Tuesday, January 21, 2014

New Story - "The High-School Sweetheart Removal Agency"

Time to insert a brief writing interlude.

Literotica's annual Valentine's Day story competition kicked off today.  I'm not eligible to win anything (as "Street-walking with a Succubus" picked up 3rd place two contests ago), but I threw in a new tale anyway as these contests are good showcases to pick up new readers.

Not being eligible means I don't have to worry about the score, and not having to worry about the score means I can have fun and enter one of my darker tales.  And the theme is slushy, sentimentally pappy Valentine's Day.  What black-hearted demon wouldn't want to stomp a big hoof right through that heart-shaped box of confectionary?

Yep, this is very much an Anti-Valentine's Day tale.  There are succubi and sex, and it's considerably darker than the opening few paragraphs might imply.

Here it is - "The High-School Sweetheart Removal Agency".  I hope you enjoy.

(Hehe, there's already been one comment about thwocking me in the balls with a baseball bat.  I think they're joking, though.)


  1. SpectralTime21/01/2014, 03:39

    ...See MEH? It's cynical unsexy emotionless s@#$ like this that turns me off on your stories, man!

    1. Got to feed horror head otherwise he'll devour me. I will be writing some lighter stuff this year, though (more Jackson, more Succubus Summoning).

    2. SpectralTime21/01/2014, 03:59

      I can't enjoy either of those either, because they are *also* messes of unsexy cynicism.

      The black comedy is all well and good, but...

    3. I would say the Succubus Summoning stories aren't quite so much "messes of unsexy cynicism." Or at the least the "unsexy cynicism" is perhaps out-of-sight so to say. I couldn't imagine Phil allowing or committing some of the deeds done by the protagonists in some of ME's other stories. Even in-story you can find that Phil is a much more moral person than what some of the teachers at Wargsnouts would like most warlocks to be, a good example of which is the Scrote.

      In fact I would say the presence of Phil is what keeps the SS stories from going to "unsexy cynicism", due to the fact he tries to be a good person, despite what he's being taught. From what's been shown about Wargsnouts, it appears to be the kind of wizarding school that teaches warlocks they can be dicks and get away with it, that normal human mores and laws don't apply to them, because they have magic and normal people don't. It is true that people have died, and Phil probably hasn't seen the darker sides of "his" succubi much, but often those people have died due to arrogance, and I would say callousness as well. It could be said their deaths were brought upon themselves.

      I've noticed Phil does care about the succubi, that he doesn't treat them like tools or mere sex dolls/playthings, but as living beings that have feelings and can feel pain. He's not an asshole to them, but tries to treat them as he would probably like to be treated himself. Contrast that with how that warlock in SS112, Slake, was implied to treat people who were in his debt.

    4. I agree with most of what you´ve said, but I don´t believe that Phil(ip)? (I forgot his name now xD) sees his succubi as he would see other humans,I believe he is very well aware that they´re are creatures, who kill men for their souls and he is probably a bit afraid and confused about how he is supposed to deal with his 5 succubi. Verde is a bit different, I get a feeling that Verde is being ´nice´ (nice for a succubus I guess) to him, because of some ulterior motive, might just be me.

    5. I agree with what you say here. I'm just saying he doesn't treat them like tools or objects. Essentially he's not a douche to them.

  2. wow.... I liked that story

    I genuinely enjoyed it

    it's nice to get a dose of cynicism and reality once every now and then.....

    but killing the boy may have been a little necessary

  3. DAMN! That was some dark shit. But that's the kind of dark that I like - not the squicky, gross-out kind of "dark."

    The story is good, but the erotic aspect felt like a bit of an after-thought.

  4. Yes, I am glad that women can finally enjoy the soul-sucking attention of your succubi too! Very nice indeed! :) Five stars :)

    1. And as for the kid I think it was to be expected, based on the very last sentence I kinda hope the guy is going to pay in the future for what he have done to his family.
      I mean once he dies, Kate better be all over his soul :)

  5. What a well-written story. I know what you mean about needing to feed horror-head. Sometimes I need to write slow sadistic torture in order to get back to what I'd otherwise be doing. Quite good. :) The killing the kid seemed... Unnecessary? In that I felt like the same effect for the character could have been accomplished without... On the other hand, I know that sometimes, you just gotta fuck over a character in the most unpleasant way possible. At least it wasn't someone nice like Phil who got it.

  6. Turbinia Woolf23/01/2014, 21:09

    I have to say, I was more shocked by the comments on lit' than by the story itself. The amount of aggression in some of those comments is just astonishing.

    Now for the story itself:

    I thought it one of your better stories when looked at as a story; and one of your worst as an erotic story.

    How so?

    Well, it's extremely unerotic from A to Z, to such a degree that I several times thought you're getting tired of the genre and straining to move elsewhere.

    But as an exploration of an uncomfortable darkness, it's way beyond much that you've written. It completely forgoes the "squick" and the "horror" and really is more of a psychological thriller.

    I didn't even find it all that cynical. It makes it pretty clearly that McCann is not an object of sympathy.

  7. Thanks for all the comments. This one was intended to be more of a horror story with sex than a sexy story with a dash of horror. I'm still going to keep writing the sexy succubus stories, but there will always be the occasional story where I show some fangs :).